Spoof stories written by Backandtotheleft

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Funny story: Bolsonaro's Business

Bolsonaro's Business

Brazilian President, Jair Bolsonaro, has cancelled a trip to New York because people plan to protest about what an abhorrent pile of sentient herpes he is. Unable to deal with protestors he can’t just shoot at will, he’s decided to stay the fuck in B...

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Funny story: The Bomb Plot

The Bomb Plot

Brexiteers were up in arms today after a grenade was donated to a charity shop in Norfolk causing minimal disruption. Upon discovering the “suspicious device” staff called the police who closed down local shops before making bringing in specialist un...

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Funny story: The Pope Speaks

The Pope Speaks

The Pope has declared that footballer Lionel Messi is “not God”, and also wondered out loud “if there was even a God”, because “fuck me this planets fucked”. In his most candid and explosive interview yet, Mr Pope told Back and to the Left news th...

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Funny story: Chope and Cheese

Chope and Cheese

After a meeting between leading MPs and the police commission, Christopher Chope (the MP who blocks bills banning female genital mutilation) shared his unique thoughts on knife crime. Just as expected, this lizard wearing a human skin suit made about...

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Funny story: War! What Is It Good For? Possibly Brexit!

War! What Is It Good For? Possibly Brexit!

As Brexit spirals out of control like a drunk shopping centre Santa driving a stolen jet ski through Debenhams, the options for the UK are narrowing. But one brave Brexiteer has an option that no one else has thought of. Big Bubbly Bumberling Raci...

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Funny story: Between A Rock And A fun Place

Between A Rock And A fun Place

Starting his second stint as the Republic of Ireland's manager, mirthless Mick McCarthy admitted “he hated every minute” of the Republic's win in Gibraltar. His comments will resound with Sunderland and Ipswich fans as they hated every minute of his...

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Funny story: Lollipop Luvvies

Lollipop Luvvies

An 86-year-old lollipop lady is refusing to retire despite the fact she could well just “keel the fuck over” at any second. Gladys, 86, said: "I couldn’t give a fig what people think, and I couldn’t give a fig that no-one has crossed this road sin...

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Funny story: Seagull Shitstorm

Seagull Shitstorm

A man has been given a curfew and a banning order from every Pets At Home in the country after he was found guilty of “knocking fuck out of a seagull” back in 2018. The man (who can be named but has a really long, complicated name, and we can't be...

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Funny story: Social Influence

Social Influence

A young couple were tragically mauled to death by a pack of wolves today as they tried to take “extreme selfies”, the latest craze sweeping the mindless young that populate our cities. “Extreme Selfies”, or “Extelfies” as they are known in the und...

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Funny story: NASA Still Boldly Going

NASA Still Boldly Going

Recently discovered star clusters “may contain alien life” or “they might not” according to NASA scientists. The cluster has appeared because NASA decided to look in the one place they haven’t yet in space: Behind the moon. Professor John Daiddion...

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Funny story: The Royal Scamly

The Royal Scamly

In a weird show of complete “we’re still not getting this shit”, the Royal family have vowed to block any social media trolls, without realizing the delicious irony that they in fact have been trolling the country for years. Every time we at criti...

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Funny story: Failing Grayling

Failing Grayling

The UK government has forked out a 33million-quid settlement to EuroTunnel over the handing out of ferry contracts in the event of a no deal Brexit. It doesn’t bode well for our negotiating teams if they’ve ended up losing a court case to a fucking t...

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Funny story: Par Rise Blues

Par Rise Blues

As a reward for their staggering incompetence throughout the Brexit process and every other aspect of their lives, MPs have awarded themselves a pay rise of nearly two grand a year. It’s seen as a victory for the chancers who seem to sleep their w...

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Funny story: Resignations Rock The Tory Party

Resignations Rock The Tory Party

Breaking news just hitting us in the face like we wished that train had done last night, damn that passing woman and her wish to help those in need! EX-UKIP and current Tory bottom-feeder, George Eustice, has today resigned from government. “Who e...

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Funny story: Brexit Box

Brexit Box

The BBC and ITV have teamed up to release the new online streaming service “BritBox” in the UK. The service quickly dubbed “BrexitBox” by heroic Brexiteers will only show the best of the best of the best of British programming. Mike Smallwood of t...

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Funny story: F**K Off Tommy Robinson

F**K Off Tommy Robinson

Facebook has banned swivel-eyed lunatic, Tommy Robinson, page after official sources said: "The page breached our official guidelines on hate speech." Which is a polite way of saying “we’re all well sick of seeing our grandparents sharing his f...

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Funny story: I Don't Make Excuses

I Don't Make Excuses

Master of the excuse, Jurgen Klopp, once again came out all guns blazing in defense of his side’s poor performance against a depleted Manchester United side. Jurgen said: "There are always many factors that decide if you win a football game. Ma...

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