Following everyone's disbelief, today it was announced that Donald Trump's true body weight two days before his recent physical was 311 pounds.
A large amount of fat was sucked, 72 pounds to be exact, out of him just before his actual physical. A...
Chris Christie ended up in an ER in Passaic today after tearing his asshole while shitting out a (supposedly edible) electronic FedEx human tracking device.
"I ate this elephant sized electronic FedEx thing yesterday. And today, it got stuck s...
KFC has announced that all of its 7 Vermont locations will now feature Bernie Sanders cookbook recipes mixed with Colonel Sanders' old favorites.
New menu items include: Karl Marx progressive Jewish commie chicken patties, grilled Hillary extr...
Donald Trump has decided to embrace and glorify Mexico's rich history: "Because I've employed thousands and thousands of His and Herspanics, the time is right to open a chain of His & Herspanic eateries."
The chain, named "Hola Amigoas!", wil...
Honoring the famous sons and daughters of Canada, the Flin Flon Flayers of the Provincial and Extra-Provincial League will host Ted Cruz Bobblehead Night on August 15th when thy take on the Moose Jaw Motherchuckers at 7:05 Canadian Prairie Time.
A day after his dog was run over by a taco deliveryman in Palm Beach, The Donald has started taking large doses of Zoloft.
Trump's dog, Niggard Lee, was flattened early Tuesday afternoon on Worth Avenue when Taco Expresso driver Jorge Cruz Lim...
Saying goodbye to the euro, and not wanting to reintroduce the dreaded drachma, Greece has named its new currency the "big gyro."
Stefan Poopadoopalot, spokesman for what's left of the government in Athens, outlined exactly what goes into a bi...
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