The people of Whitechapel were in jubilant mood last night after beating off stiff competition from over five hundred major towns across Europe to win the prestigious, European District of Rupture Award, the first East London area ever to do so. E…
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man whose soul had been laid waste by demonic possession has told a local newspaper that he refused to answer the door to a member of the Mormon church who arrived to drive out the unclean spirit last Tuesday evening. Tob…
A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London went on a murderous killing spree after a pair of trousers he'd ordered from a catalogue purporting to be, 'The most comfortable trousers you will ever buy' failed to live up to the claim. After tr…
A 47-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that he made lewd remarks and carried out a number of unwanted sexual advances towards himself while working from home under lockdown Toby Dell, a graphics designer from…
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he indulged in phone sex with a female work colleague during a marriage guidance session attended by himself and his wife. Toby Dell, from Brushfield Street, told The East London Gazett…
A train driver from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that his fondest dream is to one day become a 10-year-old boy. Toby Dell, 54, told The East London Gazette: "When I get home from work in the evenings I often start daydream…
A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has revealed that a Facebook friends request from a man he used to associate with in his late teens and early twenties but who he always considered to be an utter twat has left him feeling cornered an…
A 23-year-old Whitechapel woman has berated her boyfriend's sexual performance, branding it, 'pathetic', after the pair had indulged in a steamy romp using semaphore flags. Tracy Dell, a hairdresser from Dock Lane, told The East London Gazette: "W...
A local DIY enthusiast has told The East London Gazette that he converted the bath in his upstairs bathroom into a spacious, walk-in shower - while his wife remained in the tub. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, revealed: "The...
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he was attacked and badly injured by a giant squid as he was trying to ease his stress about the coronavirus outbreak by immersing himself in a relaxing fantasy about swimming with dolphin...
Over 50 inmates on the sex offender wing at HMP Wormwood Scrubs in London, are set to mark the 60th birthday of Prince Andrew at lunchtime today, by rattling their enamelled tin mugs before singing, For He's a Jolly Good Fellow. One inmate, servin...
A 37-year-old forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, in Whitechapel, has told reporters that he spotted the ruthless Roman Tribune, Messala, from the epic movie, Ben Hur, drinking in The Lord Rodney's Head public house on Monday evening. Toby D...
Beleaguered royal, Prince Andrew, has claimed that he was in a pie and mash shop in East London when the FBI were trying to gain his assistance with their investigation into his close friend, the late Jeffrey Epstein and his links to sex trafficking.
A 21-year-old woman from Whitechapel has become the first woman to win the much sought-after, World Falling Over Championship, for a record 12th year in succession Tracy Dell, a business owner and mother-of-three, managed to fall over almost conti...
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local paper that he has fallen deeply in love with a small green suction hook given to his wife as a gift and that he won't rest until he has made the item his for all eternity. Toby Dell, a carpet-fitter f...
Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl grows apace. A 54-year-old man has told a local newspaper that the new washing-up bowl that his wife was given by a friend, has grown exponentially in his affections, and is now his most h...
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man found himself salivating during a trip to his local Lidl supermarket, as he fantasised about scything down a noisy family in the shop with an old fashioned Tommy Gun. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, had to wipe...
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