After dispatching his subordinate ministers to explain on English TV why there are massive fuel shortages, Boris Johnson, has now run out of excuses, and instead of continually blaming the outside world, and EU, for the misery he caused, has come up…
A man who has had quite enough of his life in its current dimension, has 'upped sticks' and gone to live in a parallel universe, according to reports. Still using the same physical shell to move about in, Moys Kenwood, 56, 'willed' himself into an...
His barley roots notwithstanding, Captain Jack, a whisky of Scotch descent from Brown Water, Missouri, is still feeling his oats. "I get antsy," he said. "I just can't sit distilled." Although aged for over a decade, Captain Jack is not willing to...
English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...
Scotch whisky lovers from all over the planet, after recovering from heavy hangovers on Thursday night, have forced the Scottish minister, Nicola Sturgeon, into applying Scotland's veto to nullify the "Leave vote!" They have also rioted in front o...
Coppers have rounded up a runaway gang of vagrant haggis bank robbers in the highlands. The haggis, of which there were eighteen, were found running around in circles in a swamp on Glen Regis with a sack full of Swiss bank notes and a barrel of b...
A scientist has claimed to have finally found the illusive "God particle". Sometimes known among boffins as the Higgs Boson, the God particle is believed to hold the key to the mystery of the creation of matter and the universe, and has been the holy...
Himalayas - (Bottoms Up): It's been described as the mountaineering equivalent of carrying 15st in the Gold Cup. "Never mind the 'five crates of whisky and brandy' found under Sir Ernest Shackleton's Antarctic hut!" a Royal Geographical Drinking S...
Lynchburg, TN - A study, funded in part by Jack Daniel's has determined that, as has long been suspected, whiskey is in fact 'delicious'. The study consisted of blindfolded subjects taste-testing whiskey versus urine, bleach, and other household clea...
Better watch out for the price of liquor to skyrocket by this fall, many predicting that Kentucky bourbon could go as high as $80.00 per liter or even higher. Walter Belcher, spokesman for Ezra Brooks agrees with recent statements by the makers of...
GLASGOW, Scotland - Scottish sots held a drive-a-thong to cut sots alcohol abuse. Drinking, scantily-clad, driving ministers screamed that action was needed to reform the Scottish drinking culture, as they careened by, honking, belching and weaving.
BP, one of the founders of Kuwait and numerous other postcolonial prowestern oil whores seems to be going green and rather fishy. So many British drivers are turning to the processed cooking oil as their fuel of choice that BP has been seeking merger...
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