Scientists claim to have found a link between the popular measles vaccine and the likelihood of contracting measles. According to studies by the University of Bern, children who did not receive the vaccine were more likely to get the disease later in...
Pharmaceutical giant Smerck & Co., Inc. recently announced the introduction of a new vaccine designed to immunize against potentially harmful side effects of vaccines like the widely-popular flu vaccine. Smerck CEO Kent Fraser stated, “We deny...
Some call the new vaccine racist, but scientists are starting human trials of a vaccine designed to stop antisocial behaviors. "The police asked us to come up with something to stop the rampant increase in crime. They asked if it were possible to cre...
Los Angeles - Thousands of people have been left sickened following an outbreak of weasels at a Disneyland resort. Doctors treating the ugly pandemic say a virus strain from the Philippines is a damn good scapegoat considering the dearth of other...
According to intimates, in case she is unsuccessful in her 2016 presidential bid, Hillbilly Clinton is secretly preparing for an alternative career as either a scientist, a kindergarten teacher, or a writer for Heartbreak Greetings Cards. She has...
Hundreds of US elementary schools and daycare centers are reporting outbreaks of the devastating childhood disease Moribus Puerilibus, or MP, as kids return from their summer break. Commonly known as "cooties", MP symptoms include uncontrollable scr...
Ocean City, N.J. Scientists tested a new vaccine: protecting mice from the Ebola virus, according to an obscure journal entry brought to our attention by local policeman, Constable Finass, who is investigating the possible related disappearance of hu...
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