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Funny satire stories about the rapture

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Funny story: Jehovah's Witnesses to Combine With The Family (Children of God)

Jehovah's Witnesses to Combine With The Family (Children of God)

Warwick, NY The Jehovah's Witnesses announced today that they will be merging with the group The Family, formerly known as the Children of God. "We have been looking at ways to let people know about the coming Armageddon that we've changed the dat...

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Funny story: Tea Party Raptured, Republican Leadership Converts from Christianity

Tea Party Raptured, Republican Leadership Converts from Christianity

Every member of the Tea Party, Tea Party Patriots, National Tea Party Federation, and Nationwide Tea Part Coalition has disappeared without a trace. Incidentally, sources in the Horn of Africa have reported the inexplicable appearance of several m...

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Funny story: New Mayan Calendar slant reckons on Harold Camping RIP this Friday

New Mayan Calendar slant reckons on Harold Camping RIP this Friday

California - Armageddon Rapture or myocardial infarction rupture? According to a new translation of classic Mayan Calendar rants this Friday 21st October's Moon/Mars conjunction 'is the most likely day' for the God squad's arch doom peddler to final...

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Funny story: Armageddon, The Rapture, Put On Hold Until Tuesday Tea Time

Armageddon, The Rapture, Put On Hold Until Tuesday Tea Time

Sources close to Californian evangelist, Harold Camping-Holliday, announced earlier today that the end of the world has been postponed until Tuesday tea time BST. Camping-Holliday had previously announced with utter conviction that the world would...

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Funny story: 24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"

24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"

Heaven's celestial scribe revealed via his Twitter feed, DaMetatron, that 24 Jews that ascended into Heaven during May 21st's Rapture were banished for scalping bogus tickets for what they characterized as "Seats Close To God". "They're in here by...

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Funny story: US Supermarkets Suspend Debit Card Acceptance After May 21 In Favor of '666' Forehead Tattoo

US Supermarkets Suspend Debit Card Acceptance After May 21 In Favor of '666' Forehead Tattoo

In preparation for the Rapture, which, according to some nutball who sells T-shirts is set to occur on May 21st, major US grocery stores have suspended acceptance of debit cards in favor of the Number Of The Beast, 666, tattooed to customer's heads.

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Funny story: Astrologers rubbish Harold Camping's May 21 Armageddon rant

Astrologers rubbish Harold Camping's May 21 Armageddon rant

London - An octogenarian US preacher's terrifying May 21 Judgement Day vision is little more than a classic Uranus/Saturn opposition psychosis. That's the consensus among astrologers who are reminding the public that Harold Camping's botched Septe...

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Funny story: Off Broadway Show "The Rapture" Ends Abruptly

Off Broadway Show "The Rapture" Ends Abruptly

Off Broadway, NY - The critically acclaimed hit show "The Rapture-Capital T Capital R" has suffered a major setback this week when the entire cast disappeared mysteriously, without a trace. Many understudies have turned up missing as well, putting an...

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