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Funny satire stories about salmonella

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Funny story: FDA Issues Recall For Entire Turnip Crop Due To Salmonella Contamination - "Oh, no! What are we going to do now?" Said Nobody

FDA Issues Recall For Entire Turnip Crop Due To Salmonella Contamination - "Oh, no! What are we going to do now?" Said Nobody

Washington DC - Due to salmonella contamination, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced a recall of all turnips today, causing quite a stir with Nobody. "I can't believe this is happening. Turnips are the tastiest food ever, so I'm prett...

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Funny story: Mother of Two Wants to Recall Her Eggs

Mother of Two Wants to Recall Her Eggs

Seattle, Wa - A mother of two was so disappointed with her children that she wanted to recall her eggs. “They just didn’t turn out the way I had hoped,” she confided, after neither child called her for Mothers Day. “All I got was a text from my...

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Funny story: Salmonella ring leader, Mr. Gobbles will be tried for terrorist acts

Salmonella ring leader, Mr. Gobbles will be tried for terrorist acts

People are eating a healthier diet these days and have reduced the use of red meats. However, it also means increasing the use of lean meats such as fish, chicken and turkey. Since the popularity of switching hamburg meat to ground turkey, more and...

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Funny story: Fishy odor traced to Salmonella G

Fishy odor traced to Salmonella G

The Kabul College of Medicine has just released an incredibly important discovery that may change the way that people view sex all over the world. Dr. Hakeem Keesterami authored the paper that exposes female personal hygiene habits as being the ma...

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Funny story: Blair Hospitalized with Salmonella & Athletes Foot After Being Pelted with Eggs and Smelly Trainers!

Blair Hospitalized with Salmonella & Athletes Foot After Being Pelted with Eggs and Smelly Trainers!

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair was described as "out of danger" but "still shitting his pants" after a book signing in Dublin got ugly and he was pelted with salmonella tainted eggs imported from the colonies and more than a few trainers infected...

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Funny story: FDA Finds Rodents, Eggs Buried In Chickenshit On Egg Farm!

FDA Finds Rodents, Eggs Buried In Chickenshit On Egg Farm!

Thomas Dewey of the FDA says that a surprise visit by his team found two egg farms in horrible shape. "No wonder there is salmonella! Some of the cages were full of crap, a dead chicken here and there, big rats staring at you from their hideaways,...

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Funny story: Dr. Sal Monella, Bioterrorist wanted by the KFC and the FBI

Dr. Sal Monella, Bioterrorist wanted by the KFC and the FBI

Detectives from The FBI, FDA and The KFC made a major announcement this evening concerning the origin of the bacterial infection that caused a major recall of eggs throughout the country. According to the head of the American KFC, Henley Crackpot...

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Funny story: Salmanella Heaven In Austin Peanut Plant

Salmanella Heaven In Austin Peanut Plant

Health Inspectors in Austin, Texas have ordered a recall of all products ever shipped from a now-closed a US Peanut plant in Plainview amid a nationwide salmonella outbreak. The order came Thursday evening from the Department of State Health Servi...

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Funny story: Salmonella Outbreak Prompts Sexual Lubricant Recall

Salmonella Outbreak Prompts Sexual Lubricant Recall

NEW YORK CITY, NY - Jonsen & Jonsen have stopped production of their Kentucky (KY) Gelly after it was discovered the product contained the bacteria known as salmonella. Over the course of last week, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) inter...

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Funny story: Quick-Barf Quick Start Program - New from NutriPuke

Quick-Barf Quick Start Program - New from NutriPuke

Weight management leader NutriPuke, Inc. has announced it has purchased salmonella tainted peanut butter based products for use in its new Quick-Barf Quick-Start Weight Loss Program. Company spokesman Ron Faster said users simply need to consume...

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Funny story: Jimmy Carter In Deep Doo Doo Again: May be Linked to Bad Peanut Butter

Jimmy Carter In Deep Doo Doo Again: May be Linked to Bad Peanut Butter

Peanutville, Ga/ Peanut News Bulletin - When it rains it pours, and lately Jimmy Carter can't seem to build a roof that won't leak to put over his head to keep from getting soaked in continued Media Storms! First it was noted that a "go fast" 17...

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Funny story: Tainted TheSpoof.com Story Toll Now 552

Tainted TheSpoof.com Story Toll Now 552

FRIDAY, June 20 (HealthDay News) -- The victim count in the tainted TheSpoof.com outbreak leaped to 552 Friday even as U.S health officials announced that the salmonella contaminant did indeed come from a computer in Florida or New Mexico.

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Funny story: Contaminated Toilet Paper Found

Contaminated Toilet Paper Found

Washington DC: The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced today that Salmonella bacteria have been found in rolls of toilet paper. This finding was withheld from the general public for five days pending verification that it is the same strai...

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Funny story: Bourn-ill - Cadbury's Ethical Salmonella Chocolate Bar

Bourn-ill - Cadbury's Ethical Salmonella Chocolate Bar

BIRMINGHAM - Whilst the country stuff themselves full to bursting point with dodgy high priced Weight Watcher and Slim-Fast products, the Birmingham manufacturer of top quality chocolate has revealed in a press conference that they deliberately made...

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