Just as romaine lettuce growers were recovering from the e coli scare of last spring, the Center for Disease Control issued a "do not serve" and "do not eat" warning covering romaine lettuce from any source and in every state. One defiant salad chef...
RT-News, Moscow: White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was hospitalized last night after an unfortunate mishap. It seems Spicer was so stressed over the media witch hunt against his boss that he ate a bunch of radioactive polonium-210 mixed with...
In preparation for National Salad Month this May, less popular salad is rebranding itself as more popular hamburger. To aid in the transition, Salad has hired a marketing team to help with the rebrand. John Liberwitz, the head of Salad's mark...
In a surprising revelation to Piers Morgan on his Detroit radio station, Popeye told Piers that he had used illegal spinach in his cartoon shows. Recent research by the Department of Vegetables has shown that a can of spinach has the nutritional...
Scotland - "I nearly dropped dead from shock, hinny," Kirkcudbrightshire pensioner Mrs Gladys Post-Mortem [sic] commented as news of her purchase went viral, "it's shaken me right back to my own salad daze." The retired Castle Douglas bacteriologi...
Athens = In a surprise move Greek officials today announced they are claiming a patent on Greek salads. They will demand royalties be paid on every Greek salad made by every restaurant in the world, beginning immediately and retroactive to 1950.
To the surprise of many nutritionists and health experts, the Food and Drug Administration has announced a revision to its "Good for You" food list, which will now include the long-time pseudo-healthy menu choice known as the Caesar Salad. A tradi...
Pyongyang - Daft pot-bellied North Korean food-freak Kim Jong-un has blamed 'the wrong kind of leaf' for last week's disastrous space launch it was reported today. Friday's flaccid rocket fiasco may have failed to hit the high spot because technic...
Paula Deen is a champion for Southern-style comfort food like grandma would have made back in the 1940's, back when people didn't know anything about nutrition and cigarettes were widely believed to cure sore throats and asthma. Now Deen, the Food...
Chelsea Footballer Frank Fat Lampard has been spotted eating a salad. In what is to believed to be the first time ever. Lampard was spotted at a well known restaurant in Chelsea, with his fiancé Christine Bleakley, and said to have had a plate of...
Residents of the Isle of Wight are 'raking it in' exporting cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce to all parts of the world. This small island, ignored by many, is now on the lips of millions of people worldwide as they begin to eat salad items again wi...
Formerly famous for their lightly Cajun spiced vinaigrette salad dressing, "French Quarter Foods" has decided to close its doors of operation after 25 years of producing quality Cajun sauces. Overwhelmed with calls from customers who were concer...
Seattle, Washington - Clifford Fillmore, tired of the shower room tauntings, decided to take matters into his own hands, literally. During group shower time in front of a bunch of horrified inmates, he sliced off his own penis. Paramedics where call...
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