Showing:

Funny satire stories about retirement

Try another search?

Funny story: Harry Maguire To Retire From Football

Harry Maguire To Retire From Football

There was sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, as Manchester United captain and England defender, Harry Maguire, made a shock announcement to the effect that he intends to retire from football, and to pursue a career in a differe…

Read full story
Funny story: Maria Sharapova, One of the Sexiest Female Athletes Ever, is Coming Out of Retirement

Maria Sharapova, One of the Sexiest Female Athletes Ever, is Coming Out of Retirement

CHICAGO – Maria Sharapova, who has 36 career tennis titles under her belt, plus all kinds of world records, has said that she is planning on losing about two pounds, and returning to the court. The 6-foot 2-inch Russian beauty says that she has re...

Read full story
Funny story: Former Great Boxing Champ Sugar Ray Leonard Says He Is Planning on Making a Comeback

Former Great Boxing Champ Sugar Ray Leonard Says He Is Planning on Making a Comeback

WILMINGTON, North Carolina – One of the greatest boxers of all-time, Sugar Ray Leonard, has informed the sports media that he will be coming out of retirement. The 63-year-old Sugar Ray, got his nickname from his grandmother, Condosheena Beulah Le...

Read full story
Funny story: Man Still Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do When He Leaves School

Man Still Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do When He Leaves School

Leaving school and going out into the big, wide world is a huge step in our lives, and a choice has to be made about how we are going to make our way in life, but one man has revealed that he STILL doesn't know what he wants to do when he leaves scho...

Read full story
Funny story: Isolated Cabins In Forests Outside Of Civilization Along Eastern Coast Still Best Places To Retire For The Elderly

Isolated Cabins In Forests Outside Of Civilization Along Eastern Coast Still Best Places To Retire For The Elderly

According to statistical research, isolated cabins in remote areas along the eastern coast of the United States are still the best places to retire for elderly couples who want to enjoy their remaining years. Underground cults, witch burning, en...

Read full story
Funny story: Official Retirement Age Upped to 95 in the US

Official Retirement Age Upped to 95 in the US

It happened shortly after Prince Philip announced his impending retirement. Members of the U.S. Congress, eager to extend their own gravy train and justify that extension as totally normal, were eager to vote this into law. "I'm all for it," said...

Read full story
Funny story: Jesus Hangs Up His Crown of Thorns, Looks Forward To Retirement

Jesus Hangs Up His Crown of Thorns, Looks Forward To Retirement

According a late-day press conference, God announced Jesus would no longer be in the family business and that the two had mutually agreed to part ways after over 2,000 years of working together. "It probably wasn't a good idea from the start," J...

Read full story
Funny story: Jimmy Buffett Opens Chain Of Run-Down Trailer Parks

Jimmy Buffett Opens Chain Of Run-Down Trailer Parks

Gulf Shores Beach, FL - Jimmy Buffett doesn't need to be searching for his 'lost shaker of salt' anymore, he can easily afford to hire someone to find it for him. The music legend, who's been touring the country with his Coral Reefer Band for decades...

Read full story
Funny story: "Exhausted" Manu Ginobili Returning To Nazi War Criminal Compound In Argentina To Contemplate Basketball Future

"Exhausted" Manu Ginobili Returning To Nazi War Criminal Compound In Argentina To Contemplate Basketball Future

Los Angeles, CA - A subdued Manu Ginobli has a lot to think about following the San Antonio Spurs heartbreaking game 7 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers in a hard fought first round series that many think featured championship caliber play. Ginobli s...

Read full story
Funny story: Anthony Mundine to retire from boxing and become speech writer

Anthony Mundine to retire from boxing and become speech writer

Sydney, Australia- This evening in a televised news conference Anthony "the man" Mundine has announced he will give up boxing. This follows a gutsy but outclassed buttkicking he recently received at the hands of Joshua Clottey. Despite being beat,...

Read full story
Funny story: Strictly Not Ageist - Brucie Bows Out (Well Sort Of. . )

Strictly Not Ageist - Brucie Bows Out (Well Sort Of. . )

Producers of "Strictly" are desperate not to appear to have pressurised old Bruce Forsyth to go into semi retirement. "I always said to myself I'd know when the time came when it was time to go". He reminisced last week. "Could you face bingo and day...

Read full story
Funny story: Kobe Bryant Hints That Whenever He Retires From Basketball He May Run For Mayor of Los Angeles

Kobe Bryant Hints That Whenever He Retires From Basketball He May Run For Mayor of Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily has just broken the story regarding Los Angeles Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant's political aspirations. Rufus Reno with SBID said that he talked with Kobe and he sounded upbeat considering that he is in v...

Read full story
Funny story: Alec Baldwin retires; America celebrates

Alec Baldwin retires; America celebrates

NEW YAWK -- Anderson Cooper, Rachel Maddox, Harvey Levin, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transvestites, transsexuals, and 99.99 percent of the rest of the American public are celebrating after sexist, anti-Semitic, racist, homophobic bigot Alex Baldwin,...

Read full story
Funny story: A Retired School Teacher In Berlin Reveals That She Has 3 Vaginas

A Retired School Teacher In Berlin Reveals That She Has 3 Vaginas

BERLIN - Greta Giselle Vinheimer taught high school geography in the Berlin Independent School District for 37 years before she retired last month. Mrs. Vinheimer was given a fantastic retirement party which included the keys to a brand new 2014 M...

Read full story
Funny story: Justin Bieber Says Kim Jong Un Has Personally Invited Him To Visit North Korea

Justin Bieber Says Kim Jong Un Has Personally Invited Him To Visit North Korea

FORT WORTH, Texas - Justin Bieber was in the Texas city known as Cowtown. He had traveled down to Fort Worth to purchase a pair of authentic Texas rattlesnake cowboy boots. Justin said that he had heard about the famous boots from Clint Eastwoo...

Read full story
Funny story: Justin Bieber Is Dumb Like A Fox

Justin Bieber Is Dumb Like A Fox

NEW YORK CITY - Justin Bieber flew into New York City for an appearance on The Viagra View with Larry King and Regis Philbin. The Biebs told the elder talk show hosts that he wanted to give them a scoop. Both men sat up in their chairs. Justin then told them that he was officially announcing that he was retiring from the music business. No?" asked Philbin. "Yes" Bieber replied "You'...

Read full story
Funny story: Justin Bieber Seen Celebrating His So-Called Retirement With A Joint

Justin Bieber Seen Celebrating His So-Called Retirement With A Joint

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Justin Bieber recently appeared on Tonight With Piers Morgan and he told the delving Englishman that he had decided to hang up his microphone and retire. Morgan asked him why and Bieber said that the singing business had...

Read full story

Breaking news…
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more