Muriel Brassingthwaite from the Mean Green Coffee Machine cafe in Mithering on the Trent has realised, to no one's great surprise, that come November, Pumpkin Pie is the last thing that anyone wants to eat. 'Everyone told me' said Muriel on her bl…
Pumpkin Gavin Williamson is feeling a bit down about not being picked for Halloween this year. The orange, round fruit is only small compared to the other Pumpkins and has many skin imperfections. 'This year was going to be my year' said the pi…
Some farmers from MAGA Iowa and Nebraska have been growing pumpkins, with a special mutant pumpkin named “The Trumpkin”. Now, all you MAGAs can enjoy a big fat hard-faced orange gourd on your front porches, with flicking light in its triangle eyes…
In a local Tesco, unsold, slightly rotting Pumpkin Tim Claypole and unsold firework Christoper Biggins are commiserating about their fate. 'It is dreadful' bewailed Tim 'no-one wanted me. I was not taken into a toddler's home, to feel the love tha…
Plucky young Pumpkin Bobby Roberts has been told tales of what happens to Pumpkins at Halloween, and now, like all of us, he lives in a world of dread. 'I heard' bewailed Bobby 'that the lucky ones of us suffer all types of torment, and any unluck…
Capitalizing on the Halloween consumer market but causing a community uprising in the process, one local store's lawn display featured a large inflatable holiday decoration comprised of two pumpkins and an extremely large, questionably shaped gourd.
London - "You shouldn't call them freaks," protocol watchers seethed with ire as little Grace Van Cutsem and Lady Louise Windsor performed in public today. Yet it's hard to find kind words to describe some of the inbreds at today's royal gravy tra...
Yes, Halloween is upon us once again. The night of the Witches is traditionally celebrated by children dressing up in scary costumes and then terrorising elderly neighbours into giving them their cash. But Halloween is also the time for the humble pumpkin to take centre stage. On October 31st this rarely eaten big berry suddenly becomes all the rage. Pumpkin pie, made from the leftovers after a...
HOLLYWOOD - It is certainly no secret that the celebrities on the Left Coast are always at the forefront of new and different innovations. The Californians led the way in body piercings including body parts such as eyebrows, lips, tongues, nipple...
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for the Nickelodeon Network has just announced that they will soon begin filming on a Halloween special based on Elvira McFiddletocky's 18th century novel The Halloween Witches Vs. The Pumpkin Eating Vampires. The specia...
With the last hurdle finally overcome, Billy Corrigan has signed a one-year deal to bring the famous modern rock band back together for a series of tour dates starting in September 2009. Labeled as the "Literal Tour", the Pumpkins will book 12 d...
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