Hákarl News: The world has thanked Justin Welby for his generosity and goodwill today after he accepted to raise two orphaned twin donkeys from a Ukraine zoo. They have now been welcomed into Welby's home after arriving through the Ukraine visa sc…
Ipso Facto News Agency reporter Sinclair Petaluma uncovers a feathered scandal as federal customs agents raid the Cat's Meow Pet Shop in Cleveland, discovering 43 illegal exotic parrots secretly residing in a back storage room. Surprisingly, these…
ATLANTA, Georgia - (Satire News) - The Paul Bunyon Insurance Company has said that they had to fire one of their best employees. Company director of Human Resources, Ricky Saddleweather, stated that Miss Brunicia Spendington, 36, had been warned a…
This just in: Satan, the Lord of Darkness and Ayatollah of Rock ‘N Rolla (No, that was the Lord Humongous!) has infiltrated the peace-loving PetSmart chain with its evil rainbow flags! Don’t they know the only rainbow comes from a God named either…
BEVERLY HILLS - (Satire News) - Dr. Emerson Otto Bixfix, 52, is regarded by many as the foremost pet psychiatrist in the entire nation. Animal Land Magazine has just named him the "Top Pet Psychiatrist In The USA." According to ALM, in his 25-y…
IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA, Virginia – (Satire News) – The Nation’s #1 variety discount store chain has just hit a gold mine! Boom Boom News is reporting that the store that sells all kinds of items for $1.25 has ventured into the pet arena. And nation…
JOLIET, Illinois – (Satire News) – The American Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has just released a list of ten pet products that went on the market, and were almost instantly taken off the market for this reason or that. THE LIST…
TOMBSTONE, Arizona – (Satire News) – The iNews Agency reports that a door-to-door flour tortilla salesman in Tombstone, has been arrested for first-degree turtle abuse. Local authorities arrested Derek Simon Sipplovax, 29, for endangering a harmle…
London— Unaware of his importance, Angus McGree, a local Londoner who's also a pet Guinea pig is protecting scores of innocent civilians daily, several reports confirmed Wednesday. The companionship he provides is the only thing stopping his owner, a…
A pet rabbit that gave birth to four baby rabbits a few months ago, but then had the misfortune to have all four of the kittens die on her, is looking not particularly well this morning, and may be coming down with something. The story of the birt...
"No matter what else I have going on, all she ever wants is to be snuggled and cuddled and stroked," said Wade Johnson of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding his beloved feline animal companion, Ginny. "I hate to say it, but honestly, she can be a little...
Although Trent Harwood of Nashville, Tennessee, does his best not to take things personally, he admitted to questioning whether his cat, Sheba, truly respects him. "Sometimes I feel like she's playing with me," said Harwood of the alluring Abyssin...
Ted Parrotman, the man who changed his name and his appearance because he so much wanted to resemble his pet parrots, may have impressed a lot of people, but not the parrots themselves. They have nothing good to say about him whatsoever. For pe...
A man who, over a period of several years, underwent 'extreme body modification' in order to physically resemble his parrots, has now started to squawk like one. Ted Richards of Hartcliffe in Bristol, who subsequently changed his name to Ted Parro...
Rabbits are lovely, although a bit dimwitted, creatures, and don't always make the best pets due to their lack of interaction with their owners, but one family is celebrating their good fortune this evening after being presented with one of the lovab...
At a recent workplace luncheon, Ellen Harding of Charleston, South Carolina, lambasted her colleagues for their hypocrisy in chowing down on hot chicken and burgers while insisting how much they loved their pets. An omnivore herself, Ellen claimed th...
After losing her beloved feline companion of over twelve years, Sammy, Melanie Meadows of New York City could scarcely stem the tide of tears that threatened to surge from her eyes at any given moment, but soon learned, to her relief, that unpleasant...
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