After years of intensive training the first octopus astronaut called, Commander Octopussy, is ready to take control of a rocket heading to NASA's space station! NASA scientists decided not to employ humans anymore because they are much too expensi…
LOBSTERVILLE, Connecticut – (Satire News) – A spokesman for the famous sandwich franchise is denying reports that were allegedly put out by a member of the American Nazi Party. Bruno Dirtenhoffen, 42, who is the sergeant-at-arms of the ANP, told a…
ROSE GARDEN, AC/DC -- First Lady Michelle Obummer has yet a new idea to try out on American schoolkids. She has become a strong advocate of farming octopi. "They grows quick," she says, "and they taste good-or so I've heard-I wouldn't eat nothing...
Dorking Kebab shop owner Ali Baba today told of his pride at winning an award for his 'Family Octopus Jumper'. Baba, 43, who has owned the Kebab shop in Dorking High St for 6 years, keeps pet octopuses at his family home, but told how they suffere...
Georgie Snuffeloffogos, Head of London's Zoo's Aquarium Department, was a little upset after hearing that England would NOT be hosting the 2018 Football World Cup after losing the bid to Russia. Georgie said he had started training his Octopus, Mi...
In the last week, Northumbria police have called on criminal psychologists and survival experts to help them locate suspected killer Raoul Moat, without success. But then, octopus keeper Hans Acht, at the german Sea Life centre put an ordnance su...
The success of the German Octopus named Paul has spawned some fakes that internet users need to be aware of. There is only one real psychic octopus who resides in an aquarium in Oberhausen and his only claim to fame so far is picking World Cup winner...
Mid-Atlantic Ridge - (Tentacles Mess): A freakishly massive octopus has been spotted menacing the Brazilian Navy submarine sent to reconnoitre with wreckage of missing French Airbus 320. At one stage the huge beast attempted mounting the Tupi-clas...
Advances in fertility enhancement have been a benefit and a bane to life according to the warring factions that have appointed themselves the guardians of the proper generation of human life. This week's birth from a human mother of octopuses imp...
NAGASAKI - The Octopus man was questioned by TheSpoof.com regarding an apparent case of Squid pro quo. The man attempted to trade a squid pickled in aspartame for Barack Obama's Senate seat. He made the mistake of offering the squid to Hillary Clin...
Wild octopuses are far from being the melancholic and forlorn losers of their captive brethren. At Berkeley, a team of sexually deprived marine biologists were assembled and sent to the coast of Indonesia to party with the octopuses, and study their...
Darwin, Australia (IPP) - Octopus ownership has soared in Australia and it is now believed that pet Octopuses (an accepted variant of the word Octopi) now out number pet kangaroos. The fad is so popular that by law the word Octopus must now be capit...
Cornwall, England - Officials and patrons of the Blue Reef Aquarium were taken aback when early one morning they awoke to find an overnight guest in Louis the octopus's aquarium. Mr. Potato Head of "Toy Story" and "Toy Story 2&quo...
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