According to a leading nutrition expert, Mars Langston, people should eat all the good-tasting junky food they like and pop a few vitamins jellies. "You will live about five years longer if you eat healthy but it's just not worth it! Much of that...
NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK -- As more states move to legalize "medical marijuana" use, Albertsons will purchase Safeway in an attempt to "take on" Walmart, and the two supermarket chains will compete as one against the world's largest retailer (yes, that wou...
DENVER - The city of Denver is still somewhat downtrodden after the Denver Broncos were blown away in Super Bowl XXII by the Seattle Seahawks 43-8. But Mayor Michael B. Hancock has informed the Mile High City news media that Denver has just been n...
Following Friday's announcement that Hostess Brands was shuttering its facilities and ceasing operations, sales of the company's flagship product, Twinkies, have increased 10 fold - with some paying up to $550 for just one crème filled cake. T...
London - An Electric Avenue jerk hut proprietor has spoken of his dismay at the new 20% VAT hike on hot takeaway food. "Damn tax on munchies in this time of adversities," Sammy Aikliss grumbled tonight, "filthy thievin Tory bastards is poachin the...
A man who stole a packet of Munchies from a major UK supermarket chain will spend the rest of his life behind bars. After a somewhat unnecessary twelve day trial at the Old Bailey, David Francis, 27, was said to have committed "a deliberate and t...
Garden City, Ka. - To fifty-nine year Jason Engle the local Waffle House was a late night oasis. Situated halfway between Garden City and the sleepy hamlet of Lakin on dusty Route Fifty, the all night lights of the restaurant meant his favorite meal...
New federal guidelines are now in place stating that the Veterans' Affairs Hospitals and Clinics located in states where medical marijuana is legal will now allow their patients to use marijuana for pain management. Several changes to the hospital...
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