While mixing a new genetic nano brew in his cauldron, Bill Gates (otherwise known as The Wicked Witch of Silicon Valley) was chanting a few phrases in Aramaic, summoning all the demons of big money, computer tech, and rabid viruses that no one but he…
THE GEORGIA-FLORIDA LINE - (Satire News) - The Atlanta Peach Press has just informed the state health departments of both Georgia and Florida that Okefenokee Swamp rangers are reporting a very interesting situation. Chief Ranger Ryford Shermanwoo…
BATON ROUGE – (Satire News) – After hearing complaint after complaint about the mosquito problem, the Louisiana State Senate has promised the citizens of their state that they will completely eradicate every mosquito in the state by September of 2023…
It's always good when a product which you'd thought unlikely to work well proves you wrong, and that was exactly what happened when one man used his Mosquito Zapper for the very first time tonight, slaughtering dozens of the creatures, and laughing a…
Reports are emerging from the Thai capital of Bangkok, that a mosquito that had already bitten a man on the leg, but continued to relentlessly stalk the victim for 'afters', has been killed, after the aforementioned man remorselessly swatted it to de...
Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses. They are adept enough to fly up, whine in your ear, then take off laughing as you whip yourself in the head trying to swat them. They know how to hold a victim in suspense as they flit about having the wiles to dodge the hand raised in self defense. Their form combines all the elements of dark, loathsome things combined- a hunchback like he of Notre Dame fa...
Heinrich Himmler, naughty Nazi, asked scientists in Dachau to test if mosquitoes could replace cyanide as an effective way of mass-murdering incarcerated Jews and if it worked then asked them to produce squadrons of the beasts so they could attack Lo...
CHICAGO - Mrs. Phil Robertson AKA Miss Kay has just announced that Willie's wife Korie and Jase's wife Missy have agreed to appear in a 2014 calendar to be named The Women of Duck Dynasty. Kay said that Jeptha's wife Jessica, who is a model, will…
BATON ROUGE, Louisiana - The state that has had more hurricanes than Joan Rivers lips have had botox has just revealed a very top secret matter. According to a source who spoke to American Spotlight Magazine on grounds of anonymity, the Creole, Ca...
London - Millions of mosquito larvae in the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain have suddenly hatched in the glorious September sunshine like a colony of Pthirus pubis - pubic crab lice - on the Old Queen Mum's snatch. This morning a swarm of the lit...
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