According to new data, Mom is single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence. Research findings published by Johns Hopkins University have revealed that 100 percent of worldwide landline telephone usage is conducted by your mom. “Most o…
Medicine Park, OK - Fascinated by the whole new world opening up before her, local mother of two discovered emoji Thursday. Samantha Briggs, 54, is reportedly sending record amounts of texts and Facebook messages just so she could use the new means o...
Local Mom reportedly called her son just once, and hasn't left any messages whatsoever asking him to call her back when he gets this. Fort Wayne, IN - Worried sick, 29-year-old Barry Oldman reported Thursday he got just one missed call from his mo...
To Mod your Mom's car to turn heads follow my three easy steps. While Mom is at the hairdressers: 1) Pimp the tailpipe with a Performance Exhaust: Have a muffler shop that knows what they're doing upgrade her exhaust system. The term for what you want is a "header-back" exhaust which will greatly increase the amount of noise the car makes and produce a deep, growling sound. 2) Take off her...
TORONTO - The mother of Justin Bieber says that thanks to her heartless, irresponsible, and ditsy son she has aged 10 years in the past 10 months. Pattie Mallette told a reporter for a local newspaper that she has no idea what in the world happene...
HOLLYWOOD - A close friend of Justin Bieber who did not want his name mentioned has commented that Justin told him that he has no idea what the hell is going on with him. Bieber confided to the friend that he is one hell of a mess and he feels tha...
BEVERLY HILLS - Justin Bieber's mother, Pattie Mallettte, traveled from her home in Canada to Beverly Hills to visit one of the nation's best stress doctors. Ms. Mallette told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that her son Justy has literall...
When Miley Cyrus was about nine she was so busy she had forgotten all about Halloween and found that she had no costume. So her Mom, Tish, got out her own clothes and told her to go as her Mom. She said her mom had waited up late. "Daddy was alway...
Boston, MA - The Boston Tribune's randomly chosen entry into The Best Letter from Mom While You Were at Camp Contest appears below. This week's entry was submitted by Debbie Jones of Dover, MA. Dear Debbie, Dad and I (and the admin that I suspect is Dad's new mistress) are so happy to hear that your summer "job" at the Big Game Reserve in South Africa is going well (especially since Dad and...
Transsexual lesbian Amanda Bearse has been called lots of names, including "actress," "director," and "comedienne," but the first four letters of her first name, which is given only in the sense that she gave it to herself, says it all: Amanda is "a man." Transsexual lesbian? What's that? Technically, now that she has completed sex-change surgery, she is a transwoman (a man who becomes a "wo...
OMAHA - The star of Teen Mom Farrah Abraham, 22, has given herself two nice birthday presents. Farrah appears in the latest issue of Glamboyant Magazine showing off her pair of brand new puppies. The mother of four-year-old Sophia, told GM's Vo...
BEVERLY HILLS - Close friends of Justin Bieber's mother Patti Lynn "Dimples" Mallette disclose that they fear that she could end up at The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic along with Lindsay Lohan, and Denise Mueller. Ms. Mallette, who is a ver...
PHOENIX - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has met with officials representing the various professional and amateur teams in the state regarding an important sports-related health issue that has come up. A group calling itself Soccer Moms From The Blue...
Heya OMG I just had that awkward moment when you're so bored that you forget to wipe, ooh smelly fingers. Anyway I got so bored that I came on Facebook, but then Facebook bored me so I logged off but then I got bored so I went on Facebook, soooo random right? Gonna have myself a big Facebook mooch tonight. I've got the popcorn on tap and a whole case of blue wkd's. Mom's gonna be so pissed when...
HARFOLD, VT--A study conducted by Harfold State College on Harfold dads (16 of them at Riverside Bar & Grill) shows that the vast majority of babysitters found by their childrens' mothers are not pleasant to look at. More than nine out of 10 b...
Another tribute to hockey moms and dads, ice ponds, flood lights and kids that refuse to come in from the cold until they are forced to. You just have to love this time of year... snow on the pines, crisp air, goofy knitted hats. That, or just move your butt down to Florida and stop complaining. Seriously though... Merry Christmas! Sung to the tune of "The Christmas Song" (Chestnuts r...
Since the beginning of time, there has been conflict and war, and so it will be until the end of time. The only thing that changes is the weaponry. We were once angry cavemen throwing rocks and hand-crafted spears at one another, until we stepped up and created the fierce and deadly bow and arrow, flinging it at each other's heads with poison on the tips. Then, some curious warrior came across a s...
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