New York - Former mayor Michael Bloomberg personally demonstrated the safety of flying commercial jets to Tel Aviv recently, with a well executed publicity stunt in which he down played the threat of terrorist rockets that have been raining down on t...
After opening remarks offered by ex-NYC Mayor Rudolph Giuliani at the dedication of the National 9/11 Memorial Museum at Ground Zero in Ney York city today, pointed remarks were yelled from the "leaders section" of the museum's gallery. Seemingly tak...
New York, NY Chunky dictator of North Korea Kim Jong Un declared war on Panera Bread Bakery and New York City today. The portly youngster was outraged when Panera Bread was unable to ship bakery items to him since it would have to go through New Yor...
Special to TPN - Constance Masticar, of the International Chewing Gum association, released data that offered hope for the world's deteriorating infrastructure: "Chewing gum has been building up on the world's paved surfaces since it was first used 9...
New York City - Michael Bloomberg is just weeks away from being forced out of office by an angry mob. (At least that's the way most envision his departure.) The mayor's forthcoming eviction raises the question: What's Mad Mike going to do with all of that free time he is going to have on his hands? Here are the top 10 suggestions: 1. Start by invading Poland. 2. Save a buck by doing...
New York -- Hold on to your hat… and your pants and shirt as well. The outgoing mayor is calling on his subjects to strip naked with the goal of turning New York City into the world's largest nudist colony. The proposal comes after Mayor Mike Bl...
NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Michael Bloomberg has submitted a request to President Obama, asking the Federal Government to police the purchase of large, illegal, sodas. After Mayor Bloomberg signed the Big Soda Act (BS ACT) into law in June, police have...
Mayor Michael Bloomberg has, by executive fiat, banned pedestrians from dragging roller-bags along any and all public walkways in New York. "Just the irritating sounds exuded by what must be thousands of those roller-bags with their cheap, tiny il...
New York -- After more than five years of intense investigations and calculations, a panel of 27 accountants has discovered the direct cause of the ongoing collapse of the world's economy. Its finding: A bookkeeper for a tax accounting firm head...
Critics of the ban on super-sized soda drinks have panned Mayor Bloomburg for taxing the poor people of New York who drink the most soda drinks. It is predominently those people on a low income who consume the most fizzy beverages. Poor people pu...
New York - "You wake up in the middle of the night with a hunch the royal four poster's crawling with parasites," is how the Mayor of New York described his stay at Birkhall, Scotland "Still, kinda reassuring to know the real bloodsuckers are fa...
New York - With less than a year left on his tainted third term, Mayor Michael Bloomberg is personally selecting a successor -- auditioning puppet candidates for the mayoral elections that will be held this fall. The lineup of possibilities is fai...
Hollywood - Faced with the lowest approval rating in the history of approval ratings, the United States Congress plans to promote itself with a television ad produced specifically to run during the Super Bowl. "Everybody keeps making fun of us," c...
New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg was released from Bellevue Hospital today after being treated for what's being called "a firearm mishap." It appears that the mayor mistook a pistol for a penis and discharged the gun into his cranium. Who will...
Brooklyn--Less than five days after New York City's Board of Health voted 8-0 in favor of Mayor Bloomberg's ban on sugary drinks larger than 16oz., "soda-pop speakeasies'' began sprouting up all over the five boroughs. "It started as a joke...
New York, NY: New York City (NYC) Mayor Michael Bloomberg intends to restrict sugary soft drink sales to less than 16 ounce servings at city restaurants, movie theaters and stadiums. NYC street vendors met with the mayor over concerns that the pro...
Dozens of New York City hospitals are instructing mothers of newborns about the myriad benefits of breast milk and to urge them to breast-feed their infants instead of resorting to substandard formulas. "Not only is it healthier than commercial alte...
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