SAN ANTONIO – (Sports Satire) – Two of the greatest players to ever play in the NBA have just stated that they are in the process of purchasing one of the greatest franchises in sports history. Larry “Tweet Tweet” Bird and Tim “The Quiet Dude” Dun…
CLEMSON, South Carolina – There is sadness in the halls of Clemson University, as the school’s beloved mascot has come down with the Coronapalooza virus. A student who was in charge of taking care of the cherished tiger, named “Paw-Paw,” said that…
Karlsruhe, Deutschland—A terrified man called police when he was threatened by a squirrel. The tiny rodent, whom authorities identified as a baby, was in hot pursuit of the victim when police arrived on the scene. “It was a sight to behold,” on...
COLORADO SPRINGS - The dean of Zebulon Pike College, which is located in Colorado Springs has just informed the news media that the school will be undergoing a name change. Dean Lennox Woodpulp, III, stated that after receiving a petition signed b...
INDIANAPOLIS - The Indiana Pacers continued on their frantic pace as they defeated the visiting Charlotte Bobcats 99-94. The Pacers now possess the best record in the NBA with a record of 20-3 for an amazing winning percentage of .870. The team...
CORVALLIS, Oregon - A feminist group based in Portland, Oregon has traveled to the Oregon State campus in an effort to get the university to change the name of its mascot. Loretta Pattonelli, executive director with the group called Gals With A Da...
COLUMBIA, South Carolina - The Gamecocks of South Carolina soundly defeated the Clemson Tigers 31-17. The yearly meeting of the two teams is known as The Palmetto Bowl, so named after Guido Palmetto, who for 25 years was in charge of putting in th...
INDIANAPOLIS - The owner and CEO of the Indianapolis Colts, James Orsay, has informed the team coaches and players that he is considering changing the team name. Orsay stated that he really and truly feels that the time is ripe to inject a new tea...
NEW YORK CITY - The Performance Enhancing Drug Scandal is really getting out of hand and it has now reached a new level or rather depth. Major League Baseball has just announced that one of the team mascots has tested positive for performance enha...
The United States is "a land of children," Europeans contend, which is evident in "thousands of ways," one of which is its people's adolescent fondness for mascots. Every organization worthy of the name has a mascot: schools, fire departments, police precincts, the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts, the military services, and, of course, businesses. In fact, there are several businesses whose business i...
Shylock Humes woke with a start Mrs Hudson had dropped the breakfast tray on him again. "Ooh beg pardon Eric, I tripped on the half rug" sighed Mrs Hudson. "Never call me Eric Maude, you never know who is listening" warned Shylock. "I didn't know your name was Eric" said a voice from the wardrobe. Quick as a flash, Shylock leapt from his bed and grabbed his gun, Mrs Hudson grabbed her...
IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
After last week being sensationally omitted from the Olympic British Soccer team David Beckham, the LA Galaxy midfielder and world soccer icon, has been offered another more suitable role during the Olympic Games. Beckham, 38, will now appear at t...
DURANGO, Colorado - Students at Durango Junior College were jumping up and down with joy when they learned that a state judge had issued a ruling that students at Colorado colleges and universities will now be allowed to carry handguns on campus.
The Scottish Football Association are to issue urgent guidelines on the recruitment of club mascots in the wake of 2 unfortunate recent incidents. Dunfermline FC were reported to Fife Constabulary last month after their mascot Sammy The Tammy dres...
Manhattan, Kansas - Kansas State University announced today that the ill-fated Mascot Madness Campaign will be ended after several incidents that have placed the institution in a bad public image. "The campaign's purpose was to help build pride a...
Scottish First Division club Dunfermline Athletic have been slammed after their mascot "Sammy The Tammy" took to the field dressed as a tank and appeared to aim at rival fans before the top of the table clash at East End Park last Saturday. Former...
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