Extremist clerics have changed their minds. No longer will a jihadist who dies during a holy war and ascends to heaven receive the bounty of 72 virgins. There’s a recession, so that number has been cut back to 55 virgins for every warrior. Some…
SCI Phoenix Correctional Facility In a statement given to his publicist, Cosby explained how he was in prison just because of his political views, just like Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela. Cosby called his prison stay...
"This has us stumped," said a spokesangel in Paradise. "I mean, do we give them each seventy-two virgins? Do we make them share the same seventy-two? In the latter case, should there be thirty-six male virgins and thirty-six female?" "Or, do w...
Washington, DC-Republican Party officials agreed that the party was full of sacrificing martyrs, who wish that they could be a positive force for change in the world but instead must stick to their mission of totally screwing over Obama until the end...
Thomas à Becket, 52, was appointed the Archbishop of Canterbury in 1162. In a statement on his website, the head of the 85 million-strong Anglican Communion said serving as archbishop had been "an immense privilege". He said that news of his...
Having declared that the Olympic logo for London 2012 spells the word "Zion", threatening to withdraw the Iranian Olympic team from their first brush with western democracy, President Nodinnajaquet of Iran has now declared a fatwah on many more weste...
RIYADH PROVINCE, Saudi Arabia--In this arid part of the Desert Kingdom lives Ghaniyah Hisen, whose name means "beautiful," but apparently Arab men haven't read the memo, because the woman has gone without a man her entire 54 years. "Would it kil...
An emulation of the 1990 film "Flatliners", where a chap (a loud-mouthed American student-type played by Keifer Sutherland) experiences clinical death for a period of 1 minute before being brought back to life, has knocked martyrdom on the...
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