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Funny satire stories about longevity

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Funny story: New Study: Texting While Driving Makes You Live Longer

New Study: Texting While Driving Makes You Live Longer

In a surprising conclusion, scientists in a Gator Ridge, Florida behavioral research center, have determined that drivers who text on the road actually live three to five years longer than people who don't. Lead researcher Verna Joachim released t...

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Funny story: World's Second Oldest Person Admits Chances Of Keeping Title For Long Doubtful

World's Second Oldest Person Admits Chances Of Keeping Title For Long Doubtful

Just days after becoming the world's oldest documented person, 116-year-old Gertrude Weaver died Monday in Arkansas. Weaver became the oldest person in the world after the death of a 117-year-old Japanese woman last week, according to records kept...

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Funny story: Ron & Fred On Royal Longevity!

Ron & Fred On Royal Longevity!

FRED: Allo, Ron. Happy Boxing Day. Pint's ready for yer on the table 'ere. RON: Cheers Fred. Do much Christmas Day? Any visitors? FRED: Nah, very quiet. Most ov my fam'ly died off years ago. Stuffed me face wiv turkey, watched the Queen's speech on the telly, then 'ad a few cans before fallin' a kip in me armchair. RON: Same wivs my lot. Still the odd one dotted abaht 'ere n there but mo...

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Funny story: Rural people live longer and love longer

Rural people live longer and love longer

People who live in the country are living longer than urban dwellers - and have better sex lives, according to researchers who investigate rumours. The Wildlife Society believes that it's the greener life that delivers these benefits, but country...

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Funny story: Irish Medical Study: Combat Modeling Reveals Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Irish Medical Study: Combat Modeling Reveals Why Women Live Longer Than Men

(Irish Times) - Medical research focusing on the work of British mathematician, Frederick Lanchester, suggests that his theories may explain why women live longer on average than men. Said Dr. Eoin "Sweet Release" O'Death of County Mayo Clinic: "...

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