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Funny satire stories about lockdown

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Funny story: COVID-19 Could Mean Lock-Down for Six More Years

COVID-19 Could Mean Lock-Down for Six More Years

WASHINGTON DC - The World Health Organization (WHO) has issued an Urgent Situation Update for the Coronavirus Pandemic. The top WHO official, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, warned nations that "the worst is yet to come." Much of the concern came from th...

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Funny story: As Leicester is plunged back into lockdown Matt Hancock said that the City has plunged before so it can plunge again but he’s confident Leicester folk are plunge resistant.

As Leicester is plunged back into lockdown Matt Hancock said that the City has plunged before so it can plunge again but he’s confident Leicester folk are plunge resistant.

Due to the pernicious impact of previous outbreaks of Leicester’s cultural heritage, such as Showaddywaddy, Engelbert Humperdinck, and Gary Lineker, the Prime Minister has said: ‘We’ll have a ring of steel round the place in hours. We can’t let any o...

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Funny story: Baby Boom leads the planet into recession!

Baby Boom leads the planet into recession!

As if Covid 19 lockdowns, unemployment, fear of a new pandemic, and furlough payments weren't enough to drive the world into recession! No, now we have a 'baby boom' heading our way like a tsunami hitting Japan! Scientists studying demographic mov...

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Funny story: Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated

Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated

A man has recounted how, whilst listening to music from his computer library, yesterday afternoon, he encountered the 1975-written Electric Eels track 'Agitated', and became extremely agitated. The incident happened as veteran music enthusiast, Mo...

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Funny story: Jennifer Lopez Reveals That Since Sheltering-in-Place Her Ass Has Gained 2-Inches

Jennifer Lopez Reveals That Since Sheltering-in-Place Her Ass Has Gained 2-Inches

NEW YORK CITY – Jennifer Lopez (aka J.Lo) told Voodoo Dupree with Glambuoyant Magazine that all this sheltering-in-place is wreaking havoc on her weight control regimen. She pointed out that when she is on the road performing nightly concerts, she...

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Funny story: A nice day out at the castle

A nice day out at the castle

After the Prime Minister's guru had declared driving to be the way of testing eyesight, thousands have set out on trips up and down the motorways and country lanes of Britain, to ascertain their quality of vision. "Best if you test it from all sid...

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Funny story: Senior Tory adviser was a lying hypocrite

Senior Tory adviser was a lying hypocrite

In news that surprised nobody at all, leading adviser to the PM, Dominic Cummings, has been unmasked as a liar, a hypocrite and an arrogant self-serving twat who refuses to acknowledge any errors he has made. "When I drove 260 miles during the loc...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Witnessing comedy clubs implementing contactless temperature-monitoring of guests and people going for their daily jog in face masks, all in the name of curbing the spread of a disease comparable in severity to the flu, Nate Parker of Nashville, Tenn...

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Funny story: CDC Joins Forces With Mosquito Joe for Targeted Virus Control

CDC Joins Forces With Mosquito Joe for Targeted Virus Control

As a number of states begin to loosen up their COVID-19 lockdowns, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with extermination service Mosquito Joe to help people rid their backyards of the coronavirus and other pests that could p...

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Funny story: Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Troubled by the infringement of civil liberties imposed in the name of curbing the spread of COVID-19, Americans seeking to speak truth to power have been hindered by the presence of their State-mandated face masks. “There's been an unprecedented...

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Funny story: Government's Online Covid-19 Press Conference Facility Taken Down After 30 Minutes

Government's Online Covid-19 Press Conference Facility Taken Down After 30 Minutes

An online government question submission form provided so that the general public might have their concerns aired at a press conference on the Coronavirus, has had to be taken offline, after it was abused by people asking the most stupid questions im...

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Funny story: Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Many Americans are confused as to what fate awaits them if they become infected with the coronavirus and then recover. Will they be a pariah or superhuman? Hero or social outcast? Gasping for air or immune for life? “If I find out I’ve had it, wi...

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Funny story: Blabbermouth Woman Tells Her Neighbour She's "Been Saying This All Along"

Blabbermouth Woman Tells Her Neighbour She's "Been Saying This All Along"

A woman has told her neighbour that, despite all the expert medical Coronavirus advice being despatched on an almost-daily basis to the general public, she doesn't really need it, as it's exactly what she's been saying all along. Janice Frigg, who...

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Funny story: Hell's Angels Leader Tells PM "To Hell With The Lockdown!"

Hell's Angels Leader Tells PM "To Hell With The Lockdown!"

The leader of a gang of Hell's Angels has reacted angrily to the continuation of the Coronavirus lockdown in the UK by saying that his group will defy Boris Johnson's government, and will go wherever, whenever, they please. Brian Smith, 37, head o...

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Funny story: CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Seven weeks into the Coronavirus lockdown, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has finally spoken out on the plight of the British public as they writhe and squirm in their homes, fidgeting to get out and into the pubs, shopping centres and...

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Funny story: How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend, in full Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend of Raynham, (born April 18, 1675, Raynham Hall, Norfolk, England—died June 21, 1738, Raynham), Whig statesman who directed British foreign policy from 1721 t...

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