BOSTON - (Satire News) - The Trumptard (aka the Predatorial Racist) recently flew into "Bean Town," to have 93 pounds of his belly fat removed via an anal procedure. Trump told Fox News host Maria Bartiromo (who is one of the He-Whore's many bitch…
With the high price of oil and sanctions on Russia, Western countries are having to look to new sources of cheaper energy. France is increasing its number of nuclear power plants and the Netherlands is building more wind turbines. Meanwhile, the UK i…
DETROIT – (Satire News) – The twice-impeached former occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was in Detroit, getting an estimate on having stomach liposuction. The Daily Dirt’s Stormy Coin said she spoke with his liposuctionist, who told her that old…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump's personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, has informed the White House press corps that POTUS will be going into Walter Reed Hospital to undergo an emergency procedure. The medic said that he has been…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider, who is very close to the first daughter, has said that Ivanka is very upset and a bit on the depressed side. It seems that a highly-respected District of Colombia liposuction physian, Dr. Ferris P. Dogwood...
TRENTON, New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie says he is bound and determined to get the 100-pound liposuction he has been talking about. He told American Spotlight Magazine that he knows he can do it because he is a New Jerseyan and New Jerseyan'...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move that has long been overdue, the government of the United States has moved to outlaw the weight loss program of liposuction. A spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Weight, Darth S. Clutterbuck, stated to the news med...
Only two days after Pope Benedict XVI in his annual message for World Food Day called upon the international community to stay united against hunger, the Holy See announced on Vatican Radio that they would finance liposuction of Timothy Burrows, a fo...
BLACKBURN, Scotland - Susan Boyle the Scottish singing sensation who had the number one album of 2009, I Dreamed A Dream, has checked herself into London's Our Lady of The English Muffins Hospital. SuBo, as she is known throughout the free world h...
Vatican City (IP) - Our religious reporter recently toured the Vatican. While there he found out about a new device being distributed around the world that will take most of the pain out of the exorcism process and allows patients to lose their love...
Thousands of unpleasant looking children could be offered life changing cosmetic surgery if radical new Government health initiatives get the green light.
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