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Funny story: The Kentucky Derby Is Moving To Delaware

The Kentucky Derby Is Moving To Delaware

LOUISVILLE – (Sports Satire) – In an announcement that has sent shock waves throughout the world of thoroughbred racing, the Kentucky Derby Rules & Regulations Committee, has issued a statement that the old Granddaddy of Horse Racing will be leav…

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Funny story: Kentucky Derby Winner “Medina Spirit” and Trainer Bob Baffert Are Both Hit With a Major Racing Suspension

Kentucky Derby Winner “Medina Spirit” and Trainer Bob Baffert Are Both Hit With a Major Racing Suspension

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – (Sports Satire) – In baseball, it’s three strikes and you’re out – in horse racing it’s two strikes and you’re out. Vox Populi is reporting that the black-haired horse and the white-haired trainer are being put in the corner…

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Funny story: Angry Baltimore man demands chance to run the Preakness: cries discrimination!

Angry Baltimore man demands chance to run the Preakness: cries discrimination!

Harry Coleman, 42 of Baltimore, MD just started following horse racing last month. It all started, he tells us, when he was researching obscure drugs on the internet. “I came across a story about some of the substances those horses get. One thing le…

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Funny story: Kentucky Derby Winner ‘Medina Spirit’ Tested Positive For a Hoof-Enhancing Drug

Kentucky Derby Winner ‘Medina Spirit’ Tested Positive For a Hoof-Enhancing Drug

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – (Sports Satire) – The Kentucky Derby Thoroughbred Racing Coalition has just revealed that a urine sample taken from Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit, after the derby win, showed traces of the illegal drug Mistohoofalosis, wh…

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Funny story: "Stimulus Package" is Favored to Win The 147th Running of The Kentucky Derby

"Stimulus Package" is Favored to Win The 147th Running of The Kentucky Derby

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – (Sports Satire) - According to several highly-respected horse racing pundits, the horse that is the odds-on-favorite to win this year’s Kentucky Derby is Stimulus Package. The three-year-old thoroughbred is co-owned by LeBr…

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Funny story: The United Nations Says Russia Will Not Get Any C-19 Vaccines

The United Nations Says Russia Will Not Get Any C-19 Vaccines

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Secretary General of the United Nations, Antonio Guterres, has announced that Russia will not receive any Coronavirus vaccines when they become available. He stated that the UN’s 193 sovereign country members ha…

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Funny story: The Kentucky Derby Favorite Comes in 2nd

The Kentucky Derby Favorite Comes in 2nd

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) – The 146th running of the most famous horse race in the world finally went off after months of delays. The normal crowd of 23,000 was reduced to 17, due to the Coronapalooza pandemic and the fact that ticket…

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Funny story: Kentucky Derby will be run WITHOUT jockeys at Churchill Downs race track on September 5 as COVID-19 spikes in Louisville

Kentucky Derby will be run WITHOUT jockeys at Churchill Downs race track on September 5 as COVID-19 spikes in Louisville

The Kentucky Derby will run without jockeys at the historic Churchill Downs race track, due to rises in COVID-19 cases in the Louisville area. The race, which is usually run in May, but was postponed this year until September 5 due to the pandemic…

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Funny story: Justin Bieber Says He Would Love to Own The Belmont Stakes Winner, Tiz The Law

Justin Bieber Says He Would Love to Own The Belmont Stakes Winner, Tiz The Law

LOS ANGELES – Justin Bieber is still facing sexual assault woes, and says that he has decided to stop signing autographs, taking selfies with fans, and touching adult girls on their tibias. Bieber notes that Jeffrey Epstein and a prince, a famous…

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Funny story: The Belmont Stakes Winner, Tiz The Law, Who Had Been Missing, Has Now Been Found

The Belmont Stakes Winner, Tiz The Law, Who Had Been Missing, Has Now Been Found

ORLANDO, Florida – The winner of this year’s Belmont Stakes, Tiz The Law, has been found safe and sound. The fabulous racehorse was found by a high-profile private investigator who deals in equestrian matters, as well as in clandestine operations…

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Funny story: Northern Colluder is Favored to Win The Kentucky Derby

Northern Colluder is Favored to Win The Kentucky Derby

LAS VEGAS – The Gambling Capital of the World has reported that they have chosen the horse who they feel will win the 146th running of the Kentucky Derby. Northern Colluder, owned by Saudi Arabian Prince Sim San Kashobi, who owns most of the Karma...

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Funny story: Kentucky Derby Officials Say There’s a Way To Still Run This Year’s Race

Kentucky Derby Officials Say There’s a Way To Still Run This Year’s Race

LOUISVILLE – It was a foregone conclusion that this year’s edition of the annual Kentucky Derby horse race would be cancelled due to the Coronavirus pandemic. But derby racing officials have hit upon a way to actually run the traditional event.

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Funny story: Trump: "Mueller Couldn't Get Me, So They Impeached the Derby Winner"

Trump: "Mueller Couldn't Get Me, So They Impeached the Derby Winner"

Following the disqualification on Saturday of Maximum Security, the apparent Kentucky Derby winner, President Donald Trump tied the stewards' decision to the struggle in Washington to oust him from office. "Only in these days of political correctn...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs

Trump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs

Louisville, Kentucky - Racecourse stewards ‘in league with Special Counsel Robert Mueller’ likely robbed 9-2 Kentucky Derby pick Maximum Security of victory, a presidential spokesperson said today. Trump reportedly lost a packet backing the Jason...

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Funny story: American Pharoah's Jockey Also Commands A Huge Stud Fee! (Comparatively Speaking)

American Pharoah's Jockey Also Commands A Huge Stud Fee! (Comparatively Speaking)

Dallas, TX - Triple Crown winning horsie, American Pharoah, is reportedly getting a record-setting stud fee of over three million dollars from other mega-rich horse breeders, to jam its giant horse dong into their fillies, in an effort to produce the...

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Funny story: Churchill Downs channels Mammorial Weekend breast-shaped crop circle

Churchill Downs channels Mammorial Weekend breast-shaped crop circle

Louisville, Kentucky - An enormous pair of alien bazookas has appeared on the mile-long oval track straddling Louisville racecourse. And it appears to be lactating Martian Milkshake judging by the nipple secretions spouting close to the five furlo...

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Funny story: Kentucky Derby Horse 'Uncle Sigh' Doesn't Really Give a Damn About Race

Kentucky Derby Horse 'Uncle Sigh' Doesn't Really Give a Damn About Race

Churchill Downs - As the 140th running of the Kentucky Derby nears, one fact about one of the horses in the running this year is clear: 'Uncle Sigh' just doesn't give a damn. The horse is already pissed about having to shave his beard for the race bu...

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