Mars rover Redhead solved the greatest mystery on the planet when it unearthed the remains of former Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa from underneath a rock on the planet Mars. The remains were in extremely good condition due to the Martian atmosphere being…
James A. Hoffa, 22, grandson of long-time teamster union president Jimmy Hoffa, married Alice Rockefeller IV, 20, this morning at the local city hall, with two janitors as witnesses. Both the Hoffa and Rockefeller families had publicly disavowed…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman assured Secretary of State Mike Pompeo that he would provide X-rays of the stomachs of his assassination team to prove they didn’t dispose of Jamal Khashoggi by eating his body parts. Altho...
LEICESTER, England (ABSNN) - A whole lot of people who believed the male skeleton found beneath a parking lot in this English city was King Richard III, who was slain during the War of the Roses, an English Civil War, were disappointed when DNA testi...
NEVADA STATE PENETENTARY (ABSNN) - O. J. Simpson is offering to sell the knife that was used to slay his wife, Nicole, and her friend Ron Goldman, for the sum of $5 million. Guards at NSP immediately tossed his cell but found nothing other than a ba...
In a frenzy to find the body of Jimmy Hoffa, Americans have made a run on hardware stores stripping them clean of shovels, picks and jackhammers, as well as Christmas lights which had just gone on sale as of yesterday. The frenzy swept the nation af...
Washington, USA. In breaking news, notorious crime boss Jimmy Hoffa has been found in the ceiling loft of a suburban Cleveland tenement. The formally ever present Teamster's representative has not been seen since 1974 when he mysteriously disappeared...
CHICAGO: On July 30, 1975, Teamster president Jimmy Hoffa disappeared from the face of the earth. Until yesterday his disappearance remained a mystery. Although he had many enemies who had reason to kill him, Chicago police and the FBI were unable...
New York City -- The way history chooses to view President Barack Obama will depend not on his far left ideologies, but his undeniable alpha dog personality and extraordinary manly powers. Earlier in the year, Obama single handedly defeated and ki...
NYC - Those attending fashion week in New York City this past week were not surprised when they witnessed Lady Gaga appear as missing union boss, Jimmy Hoffa. Dressed in a grey pin-striped suit with blue silk tie and men's black steel-toed work boots...
Serial sociopath Joran van der Sloot, saying 'get me outta here, my hemorrhoids are killing me', told investigators he would lead them to the grave of US aviatrix Amelia Earhart missing since 1937 just prior to WW II. Law enforcement officials in...
Sports reporters roamed through the smog and fog somewhere near Secaucus, New Jersey today, trying to find the Meadowlands after it was announced the site was named to host the 2014 Super Bowl, already being named "The Yellow Snow Bowl' by critics w...
Taking advantage of the Congressional recess and the absence of the Republicans in Keibasastan President Obama announced that Jimmy Hoffa had been found alive. In reaction to the news he immediately appointed the former Union boss to the position...
Jimmy Hoffa, the former union leader and mob boss who disappeared under mysterious circumstances, had been found. It was long believed that he was buried under Giant's Stadium (a.k.a. The Meadowlands), but no body was ever discovered. With the cu...
Boston, Ma/Detroit,Mi, / Combined AP Wire Services - A video tape delivered covertly to the Boston Globe proves conclusively that missing union boss Jimmy Hoffa, and Winter Hill Gangster Whitey Bolger are still on the loose and not about to let the g...
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