Being the chair of the local Mermaid Public Relations Committee isn't all it's cracked up to be. Like today, for example, I'd like to be out swimming around in the ocean with the other mermaids. Instead I'm tasked with reading the entries of my fellow mermaids to a short story contest by a local magazine and choosing the ones that will proceed to the next round of the competition. The magazine edi...
People in the public were surprised to hear that Olivia Black was fired by a pawn shop after racy photos of her surfaced online. 'Pawn Stars' shop runs a reality television show on the History Channel. Olivia Black's employment record for '...
My friend Shylock Humes and myself were sitting in a London growler, in the inky-shadowed street outside the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers. This villa was, I hoped, to be the scene of the great denouement of our adventure, in which all the various skeins, threads and loose ends gathered so painstakingly by my friend, would at last be tied, tidied and secured in lots of lov...
A woman in Montreal is upset with her husband due to his recent present to her of a mockingbird for her birthday. When she received the gift, her spouse promised Elaine Tucker that "it won't sing." He also told her that if it fulfilled this conditi...
New Jerseyans are scratching their heads over the story about two idiots; a woman who lost a backpack full of cash and jewels, and the moron who found and returned it. Joseph Monto, a 33-year-old mechanic and certified dumbass, spotted a backpack...
Myron Skimsdale, otherwise known on stage as "Heavy G" suffered what was first reported as a serious neck injury while performing on stage in Miami when the momentum of his gold chain managed to snap hard to the right, taking his neck with it. Hea...
RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA: This 'Christian' community is being rocked with an unexpected Civil Rights issue. A 14-year-old schoolgirl's nose piercing has resulted in her being suspended from school and forcing her into a fight over her First Amendment...
The answer to the riddle of why De Beers was targeted in an audacious raid by thieves has been met with incredulity by the Police. They had assumed they were after a super-cool gang. The truth is that some lads got a bit lost in London, after havi...
Miley Cyrus paused in her busy schedule today to apologize to her many fans, saying that she didn't know the jewelry could be harmful. Jewelry for teens endorsed by the singer has been found to contain cadmium as the jewelry was actually made in C...
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