Daily Mail writer Valerie Worthington is now asking for privacy, after a bit of a do in her private life. Mrs Worthington, who has famously put her daughter on the stage, said 'At this very painful time, I ask for privacy, so that I can make my pe…
A local man known for being somewhat oblivious was overheard saying in obvious frustration, "I won't get fooled again!" creating panic in a small Idaho town. The man known to townspeople only as "Junior" exited a popular café and reportedly made the…
A desperate search is underway by a Kent woman for a decent electric can opener. Anna Kirby-Helm Birthstone, of Deal, says she is frantic and 'stressed beyond belief' as she wades through the options available to her after her Cuisinart SC0-60 Del…
A white Black Lives Matter protester was heard screaming “I can’t breathe” — the phrase George Floyd uttered before his death that has become a slogan for the Black Lives Matter movement - after stumbling while carrying several boxes of Nike Air Max…
Local man Dougie Grimes has admitted today that he hates his new neighbours, and has no remorse for posting on social media about his feelings towards Blacks. "Every one of them is a good-for-nothing, lazy-ass turd. They play their music all nigh...
Tony Spell, the pastor at the Life Tabernacle Church in Central, Louisiana, believes his fellow pastors need your COVID-19 stimulus money more than you do. Reporting shows that Spell has started a campaign called “#PastorSpellStimulusChallenge” in...
The coronavirus outbreak that has ravaged New York, Miami and other major US towns and cities, has many Africans feeling very glad they do not live in America. “I am glad I live in Lagos and not in New York or one of its surrounding boroughs and...
Ferguson man Randy Burrows is reeling in shock this morning after discovering that his mother had failed to purchase milk to accompany his usual breakfast of cornflakes. The 26 year old school janitor, who has yet to leave home, was visibly upset,...
It was a dark day for democracy last Saturday when that great, glowing bastion of peace, freedom and French fancying Quebec, called in the riot squad on a group of peaceful protesters. Making matters worse is the fact that the group in question w...
According to confidential sources in the White House, the President is suspected to be suffering from a rare new disease that afflicts those who have risen to high places and affects the victim's ability to see his own behavior and actions as others...
Cristina Kirchner is reported to have reacted furiously to a letter from David Cameron detailing his proposition for a "Yes/No" British sovereignty referendum on mainland Argentina. The letter, which was apparently intended as an April fool and a...
Irony, a figure of speech, suggests a complex experience. There are three kinds of irony, of which one is called dramatic irony. In this figure of speech, the discrepancy exists between what a character wrongly says or believes and what the reader knows to be true. Unofficially, there is a sub-irony to the dramatic irony. Actually, I have no name for it except 'ridiculum ironia'. To explain it...
WASHINGTON DC (ABSNN) - Aging (badly) pop singer Madonna endorsed President Barack Obama for a second term in the Whitehouse during a concert on Monday. She said "it was cool (having) a Black Muslim as President." She said that "there is hope f...
Following the recent shootings in Colorado and Wisconsin, isn't it time that the US stood back, took a good long look at itself and focused the telescopic sight on the elephant in the room? The pro-gun lobby rants about the fact that lone nutters will always kill people, regardless of gun controls. Psychiatrists will tell you, and rightly so, the lone nutters are relatively rare and that there...
A 73-year-old Spanish man was gored in the right leg on the first day of the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, though the incident actually occurred in Balham, South London, while he was shopping for cheese. Pedro Santorini from Pamplona an...
The Luddite Society are to hold a Kindle Burning party on Thursday to symbolise the destruction of what they see as the end of paper based books. "Kindles are an affront to every good thinking honest citizen," said Ned Ludd, who is the elected hea...
It has been a problem down the centuries that has finally been solved by MyWay Apps: How to get people to your party. "This is a great App," said Mac Buck, editor of App World!. "If I had more friends, it could possibly be indispensable." The A...
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