A marketing photo of a small kid riding on the back of a great Dane, the dog was twice the kid's size, has been lambasted for being cruel to animals. Now, a plan is afoot to ban all kids riding on the backs of all animals. Donkey rides along the b...
Ready for anything minister, Liz Rupture has said she can make a much better job of dealing with floods, horsemeat in burgers, badger issues, tsunamis, volcanoes, meteors, earthquakes and students than her sacked predecessor. "also after working for...
Dead nags, ponies and racehorses will be dragged to soup kitchens and refuges on Princess Annie's suggestion, it was revealed to our Royal correspondent this morning". "Watch this space" said the philanthropic Princess, "we may be sending grouse,...
The Chinese Year of the Horse 2014 may turn out to be a problem year for Chinese restaurants everywhere. Normally special menu for four persons will be the New Year's animal meat dish e.g. mutton for sheep, beef for Ox etc. Admittedly dragon, mo...
Mayor-elect Bill de Blasio has vowed to act quickly to abolish horse-drawn carriages in the city, especially around Central Park. Many will argue over this as they say New York is losing all its traditions. "What are our kids to do that love ri...
Competitors in the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio, Brazil will have to go through more tests than any event to date. "We do not want there to be any cheating here", says Spokesman Fabio Guaray. "If you plan to cheat, stay home. You will embarrass you...
DRESDEN, Germany - A cannibal cop arrested for the killing of a man he met online is blaming his crime on the fact that he ate horse meat lasagna purchased and eaten last year and claims it gave him mad cow disease. A representative from Findus,...
The National Racing Association announced today that four entrants into the recent Preakness tested positive for horsemeat. A spokesman for the group said that this was a "dark day in horseracing, darker that that day when it was really dark mo...
A spokesman for Britain's leading bakery chain admitted that pigmeat was used in millions of hot cross buns on sale this weekend. Most of the major supermarkets have this product on their shelves, discounted at one pound per bun. The chief Rabbi i...
A large turkey farm in Norfolk has been closed after traces of methadone were found in the turkey. "We were checking the turkeys for horse meat contamination," said Fisheries and Farming minister, James Bond. "Having checked all the foods in freez...
It's been a frantic 24 hours. First, the ironic twist of fate when French horse burgers were found to contain 20% of that great British food, the turkey twizzler. Confusion then reigned after it was found the turkey twizzlers contained up to 100%...
London, England. Her Majesty The Queen has been admitted to hospital after eating dodgy meatballs that were later verified as being made from horse meat. Doctors claimed that Her Maj microwaved the suspect foods before consumption and ate them with a...
LONDON - Britain's prestigious consumer watchdog agency known as BBB for Britain's Burger Bureau has just released a news bulletin stating that traces of horse DNA have now been found in some of Burrito Bell's menu items. A representative for Engl...
The £1 fish man was today drawn into the horse-meat scandal when a disgruntled colleague on a neighbouring stall in Green street claimed the fish he was selling were actually horses. The colleague who asked not to be named claimed that the only re...
A new Chocolate bar was launched today by Knestles named HORSE DELIGHT. It is the product of years of research into the eating habits of both humans and horses. Chief Executive of Knestles, Toby Barker, said that HORSE DELIGHT would be the the 'bi...
News is breaking that the Health Secretary has been arrested after an undercover operation by Staffordshire Police working with the Met and Interpol. It has been alleged that recent stories regarding horsemeat in the foodchain and falling asteroids h...
Supermarket giant Tesdabury's has become the latest store caught up in the horse meat scandal after allegations that horse meat has been found in its "Cannibal Range" of ready meals. A clearly shaken company spokesperson Sue Perior admitted "This...
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