NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The word coming out of Madison Avenue is that the Preparation H Corporation has just signed the twice-impeached, one-term former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to be the official face of Preparation H. A spoke…
A gay man with a haemorrhoid so large, that his arse looks like it has an Adidas Jabulani coming out of it, has been told by a hospital in Texas that he cannot have an operation to lance the pesky growth, and that he will have to wait until it gets b...
Scientists at the European Space Agency are extremely excited as they explain that the Rozetta Satellite is soon to be photographing asteroids. Taxpayers, worldwide, just do not understand why scientists in many countries are spending billions on...
Murray Lloyd, a local proctologist, was arrested early last evening in a 'rhoid rage' incident. Lloyd, 43, was released after posting bail on charges of vandalism, assault, and interference with official acts. 'Rhoid rage should not be confused wi...
Gomer Pyle, a local fork lift truck driver was astonished when his doctor informed him that he was suffering from piles, or haemorrhoids, and gave him a sick note for a week, because piles are no laughing matter, as the doctor knew only too well, bei...
Exercise guru Richard Simmons on Oprah Thursday in a "Live Call-In", vehemently denied that he was suffering from hemorrhoids. "I have some but I don't suffer from them" reported Simmons. In fact, I have fun with my hemorrhoids by talking to them...
LONDON, UK - Maggots may not have the miracle hemorrhoid healing properties that have been claimed, a UK study suggests. In a double blind study of 1,000,000 UK hemorrhoid suffers, maggot therapy actually increased the pain and itching of hemorrhoids...
Poor Pluto has been demoted from one of the seven planets, recently called a Plutoid by International Astronomical Union and now diagnosed as a hemorrhoid on the ass of Neptune.
US and A (The Lantern Staff Writer) - An outbreak of severe hemorrhoids throughout the lower forty-eight states has blindsided National Weather Service forecasters, causing the President to declare a national state of emergency.
Rudy Giuliani took a bold step in his campaign today, announcing his support for flushable hemorrhoid wipes. "This simple technology will help America deal with the terror of a serious health problem," the former Mayor said at a benefit for...
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