After analyzing massive amounts of statistical data, the University of Wisconsin-Madison recently released a report that the best option any person has in life, is to keep his or her heart 'completely cold' and 'protected' as they travel through the...
According to a recent report from the National Institute of Health, in this age of mass shootings, climate chaos and downward-spiraling human health, an increasing number of Americans have opted to undergo a cutting-edge elective procedure known as c...
HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...
Dr. Joseph Mangele of Yale University, authority of Aztec culture and society, has written a book justifying capital punishment. He argues that when the state murders, in both societies, the ulterior motive is to maintain order and to sustain the pow...
In the new series of Yorkshire Moors based police drama Heartbeat, the actors are all to speak with regionless accents, a BBC spokesperson said this morning. "The majority of viewers for dumbed down rubbish like this are from London and the Home Coun...
New studies have shown that owning a dog can be good for your heart, but has the risk of exposing you to malodorous digestive byproducts commonly produced in the large intestine when certain bacteria are present in combination with certain foodstuffs...
Mr Alf Fosset has made a speedy recovery after undergoing a heart transplant last month. The 55 year old Slather Polisher from West Ham had undergone extensive tests before the procedure could go ahead. He had been waiting two years before gettin...
News information services have informed us that former President-Of-Vice Dick Cheney has had a heart transplant. The former Halliburton head man had to wait almost two years to get his new ticker because of the difficulty of finding a heart evil...
A federal judge granted a delay in John Edwards' criminal corruption trial Friday, disclosing that the former presidential candidate has a life-threatening heart condition, a court source confirmed. Edwards appeared at Friday's open hearing in Nor...
Paris, France - Dr. Tod S. Quishit of the Swiss Palaxo-Kime pharmaceutical company made a stunning announcement at the annual Paris Hypertension conference yesterday. Palaxo-Kime has just published a study showing that current blood pressure cuf...
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL- The immediate family of Dick Cheney answered questions Sunday about the therapy sessions the former Vice President has been undergoing. "He's just seemed so emotionally vacant the last few years. I knew we had to try somet...
For some reason, the World Health Organization has checked and rechecked their numbers and they have concluded that England has the highest percentage of heart attack victims in the world with the United States coming in a close second. "So far we...
Even after his death you can't keep Michael Jackson out of the news, as sensational breaking news is just in today, that Jacksons heart was removed from his body after his death, and taken to a secret location in San Francisco and buried. A San Fr...
Immediately after scientists announced the availability of the new heart, they received special visitors John McCain and Barack Obama. Both began arguing over who should get the heart. McCain claimed that he needed it because his was so old. Oba...
Bah Humbug! Sometimes you just want to be a grinch. Celebrate your inner grinch by being a grouch and frowning on the festive glow of the holidays.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Dick Cheney went under the knife for a replacement battery for his defribulator.
AskFrFred$$Giveness has decided to abandon the more literal 44 4 the $ that is really at the heart of most religion...
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