IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA, Virginia – (Satire News) – Five Guys Burgers first came into being in 1986, and now 35 years later, they have just announced that they will be changing their corporate name. Five Guys executives state that effective immediately…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The latest fast food poll taken by the nation’s number one polling organization, Quinnipinni, has shocked many fans of fast food eateries. Q Director Derek Waterwell, informed the national public that the extensive 11-mon…
KABUL, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – The McDonalds Corporation is happy to announce that their McDonalds restaurant in downtown Kabul is having record sales. A spokesperson for Afghanistan’s national Two-Humped News Agency stated that since introd…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – In what fast food pundits are calling the dumbest idea in the world of fast food, the McDonalds McSauerkraut Burger has ridden off to that Burger Paradise in the Sky. A reporter with Hollywood Hors Doeuvres asked a Mickey…
IRVINE, California - The In-N-Out hamburger chain commented that they do not recall sex pervert Ghislaine Maxwell ever eating at their establishment as she has stated. Maxwell told one of the jail guards who is guarding her that her favorite hambu…
DETROIT – The beef shortage has already caused the price of beef to shoot through the roof. One customer at a Wendy’s in Detroit, ordered the Baconator burger. And when he opened his container box, he noticed that the two meats were both the si...
(Chicago, IL) In a surprising move, fast-food giant McDonald’s added “Barrel of Crude Oil” to their world-wide menu offerings yesterday, where it is featured on the Value Menu or Dollar Menu joining all-time favorites the McChicken and the McDouble.
Seattle, WA - A local factory worker here admitted to fellow employees that his New Year's resolution to save all the extra ketchup packets left over from his multiple daily trips to Burger Shack seemed "okay, a little stupid, I guess" in light of th...
San Diego, California - A representative with Jack-In-The-Box has informed a reporter with The Los Angeles Post-Gazette that their corporation feels that eating an Ultimate Cheesburger could possibly prevent someone from getting COVID-19. Pettus H...
McCrap (Name changed for legal reasons) diners in Beccles, Norfolk, got the shock of their lives as a horse poked its head into the drive-in window demanding a burger and chips; the horse-rider was a vegetarian! A shocked McCrap worker refused to...
A sensational revolution is occurring in the burger world! Real, fresh meat is to replace the reconstituted crap normally on offer. Several burger kings were about to be declared veggies because basically there is no real meat in their crap anyway...
Smokers, alcoholics and people who don't pay their fares on UK buses are banned. Profane language and fighting on buses is banned too along with Grannies forcing young smartphone addicts to give up their seats! However, it seems that UK bus compan...
In preparation for National Salad Month this May, less popular salad is rebranding itself as more popular hamburger. To aid in the transition, Salad has hired a marketing team to help with the rebrand. John Liberwitz, the head of Salad's mark...
McDonaldland, USA -- Bowing to pressure from minimum-wage maximization advocates, the McDonald's Corporation today introduced a "more affordable" menu designed exclusively for workers at the bottom of the pay scale. "We can't afford to raise the s...
Chicago- CEO Don Thompson was challenged and often shouted down by some insistent and disruptive shareholder meeting disrupters. A belligerent Debbie Bipolaria, representative of Mothers United in Parental Neglect, accused McDonalds of using popul...
Good-bye "Have it your way." Hello "Be your way." And the BK workers seem to approve. "Why should pesty customers expect everything THEIR way?" asked a gum-chewing BK worker yesterday, continuing, "what a crock." Popping his gum at the interview...
SAN DIEGO, California - Jack-In-The-Box Corporate Spokeswoman Buffy Buttonburg told the press that the San Diego based hamburger giant has just come out with its latest burger creation. The new burger is named The QuakeBurger and it was developed...
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