LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – World-famed magician and illusionist David Blaine was in Sin City performing one of his most intricate illusionist tricks ever, and was supposed to have made an entire circus tent, filled with a dozen elephants, 6 tigers,…
A stampede involving up to 100 elephants in the Angolan city of Luanda created widespread panic yesterday, with the animals careering through busy shopping streets packed with bargain hunters looking for that 'little something special' in their lunch...
A hoard of horny (not literally, they have tusks) elephants that broke out of a circus caused havoc on a Spanish motorway in Spain. Coincidentally, on the same weekend when raging Spanish bulls chase human morons dressed in red! Although, the male el...
AP -- From spending $150 million on private villas for a handful of personnel in Afghanistan to blowing $2.7 billion on an air surveillance balloon that doesn't work, the latest revelations of waste at the Pentagon are stories in a long line of simil...
Milkforce and I snuck into the Trump Rally at Two Forks, Tennessee. We brought Stosh Armstrong with us for protection in case they started throwing punches. Stosh kept a low profile, staying about ten feet behind us in the crowd. It's not that he was...
Welsh gigalo Bigboyo Davies has become the first human to successfully undergo a penis transplant from a donor elephant. Horace, a 20 year old African elephant at Barry Zoo, South Wales, succumbed to one-too-many fat old ladies riding bare back on hi...
FAYETTEVILLE, Arkansas - City officials are trying to figure out where in the world the 6 giraffes, 3 elephants, and 1 lion that were left at The City Animal Shelter came from. Bernice Burgerbock, 37, who manages the shelter stated that when she g...
NORFOLK, Virginia - The executive director with PETA, Mimosa Ledbetter, recently stated on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that her group would like to have a nice friendly meeting with the representatives of the world's biggest circus, The Ringling Brother...
KARACHI, Pakistan - Word out of Pakistan is that the Pakistani government has decided to put an end to the very popular traditional Karachi Elephant Races which have been held every weekend since 1968. The mayor of the city known as "The City of E...
Human beings appear to be the only creatures that can have sex sheerly out of pleasure. The animals seem to do it mostly as a matter of course. I mean, can you imagine a lobster having pleasure out of intercourse? Or a walrus? In fact, with a lot of our fellow earth dwellers you wonder how they can even mate at all due the the difficulty of their embodiments or the ugliness of their partners. Stil...
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