Milwaukee, Wisconsin—A 20-year-old US Postal Service worker, whom police are calling “Jane Doe,” admitted to having stolen over 6,000 greeting cards full of cash or checks. “But it wasn't for the money,” Doe insisted during her arraignment. She...
Wilfred "Willie" Makett, star shortstop and fan favorite of the Detroit Tigers broke his right leg last night in a freak accident at his home during the All-Star break and will be sidelined for the balance of the season. He told hospital personnel th...
An 80-year-old driver who accidentally dropped a load of money on to the road has blotted his previously unblemished driving record. Gateshead magistrates heard that Ivor Lodesadosh, owner of the Big Game Casino, was driving to the bank in his jee...
An unnamed businessman has secretly taken control of the ailing Cash nametag company after he discovered they owned the trademark Hashtag™. A Cash's spokesperson said that the Coventry company would be moving away from their previous business...
Shoppers were stopped and interviewed by our blonde, intrepid reporter, and asked one simple question: if you could have anything you wanted from Santa, what would it be? Sarah, a single mother of two, said "Cash". Why cash? "Well, it's small,...
The gains tallied in the economic reports on the Bureau of Economic Analysis are all illusory, says Stanley Morgan. They were all paper gains, and are in no way connected to the self-worth of those whose incomes are above the line that pegs them at...
A Gateshead man has been left devastated after losing his cosh. Alf Umpyer, a notorious criminal, lost his cosh last Thursday night while on the prowl in the posh, upper-class district of the town. He had put the cosh in his coat pocket whilst...
Five greedy people were injured - one seriously - in a massive pile of cash on the M62 near Manchester. Dozens of motorists stopped near an overhead bridge as huge bags of money were dropped onto the motorway. Drivers and their passengers were...
The true extent of the financial crisis was highlighted yesterday by the announcement that Leeds will become home to the UK's first 'Cash4Child' outlet. Based loosely on the ubiquitous gold merchants where hard-up punters sell inherited jewellery...
Protesters against the expansion of the supermarket giant Tesbury's have struck in Manchester with a cash-back scam that has left the national chain of grocery stores fuming. "We're very disappointed," said Tesbury's managing director Tessa Coe. "...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. government noting that the "Cash for Clunkers" program and its "Cash for Cluckers" program were both very successful has proposed a new program called the "Cash for Stash" program. This innovative project which will pay...
A Cash Machine in Stretford, Manchester, today made residents of Stretford with a cash card quite rich. The ordinary looking ATM started handing out fifty times the amount requested due to a software glitch that many IT experts believe the ATM cam...
Britain's second largest bank, Royal Thistle Bank of Scotland, is to ask passerby for about £10bn of extra cash to improve its financial position and meet its quarterly shortfall.
WASHINGTON DC. -- An expansive group of health organizations today filed several lawsuits against the United States Government seeking an immediate stop to the circulation of paper money. Members of the group Health Action Coalition are health care p...
Now, half way through the 'Stand Up Comedy Boom' Harry decided to cash in on his connections and he opened a Public Relations firm named 'Handled Messiahs INC' but unlike the joke circuit Harry's gift of gab, devilish good looks and sheer tenacity was not enough to land him the highly coveted big named clients. '...
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO--(SPAHNISHNOOSE) More than $200 million in U.S. cash from rug producers in one of the cities glitziest colonias was found today making it the biggest cash bust in the countries history, except for yesterdays bust...
I am forced to issue a response to recent articles linking me with the notorious Lowton brothers in the current furore over 'Cash For Vagina's'.
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