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Funny story: Sanders and AOC on the Coronavirus: “Capitalism Kills; Socialism Saves.”

Sanders and AOC on the Coronavirus: “Capitalism Kills; Socialism Saves.”

Bernie Sanders is baffled by, and enraged with, what the world is missing about COVID-19: “Isn’t it amazing,” he observed, “that Cuba and Venezuela, both of which I have long admired, have had so few deaths from the virus?” He is proposing that the...

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Funny story: Pandemic an opportunity for investors

Pandemic an opportunity for investors

The world might be in lockdown, but there's big money to be made out there by eagle-eyed capitalists. Funeral company, Grave Situation, of Bury, England have reported a 350% increase in turnover for April, after they offered a two-for-the-price-of...

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Funny story: Man Tells Society To Get Fucked

Man Tells Society To Get Fucked

A man in East Yorkshire has commented on what is being touted as the end of civilisation, and said that, as far as he is concerned, the whole world can "go and get fucked". The man, ex-infantryman, Dennis Large, lives in a Second World War machine...

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Funny story: Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism

Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism

Financial analysts say that the Coronavirus is God's way of dealing with the capitalist system of economics, and that the entire mechanism is in danger of crumbling across the globe. The virus, Covid-19, which originated in China, has killed nearl...

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Funny story: Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020

Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020

NEW YORK - A recent CNBC business segment with Jim Cramer reported that Wall Street would face "annihilation" if Elizabeth Warren were to be elected President of the United States in 2020. Although an "Ultra-Millionaire Tax" got the most attention, t...

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Funny story: Underpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive

Underpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive

After contract workers at a major New York City consulting firm discovered that the company was making hundreds of millions of dollars off their services while they themselves received no benefits and only a stingy and utterly static hourly wage, mos...

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Funny story: Adventures in the Merchant Arse-Gravy

Adventures in the Merchant Arse-Gravy

It was early in the spring of 1835 when me and my friend Arsecock were shanghai-ed. We had only had a few pints in The Admirals' Cockles in Plymouth, but there must have been something in the brew. When I woke up, I was sick, the whole world was rolling from side to side, and everything smelt of shit. "Where am I?" I asked. "Hahar! Ye've awoken," said a gruff bearded old man in a smart unifo...

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Funny story: Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Head of Pharmaceutical multinational giant, Savage Drugs, Inc., Michael Portfolio, praised the United States today as "the indispensable nation, a model for humanity because it is the last bastion of freedom and liberty." He pointed out that his d...

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Funny story: EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

"I'm not a villain," said Heather Avarice, chief executive of Extort Pharmaceuticals, one the few generic drug manufactures left in an oligopolistic industry noted for price gouging. She was speaking at a press conference today at company headquarte...

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Funny story: Brexit moving quickly toward nexit, hexit, and feckit as financiers scramble for the too big to fail handbook

Brexit moving quickly toward nexit, hexit, and feckit as financiers scramble for the too big to fail handbook

Brexit's financial fall out explained in brief is the monkey lost his stash out of his jungle nest and let out a moan fit to get everybody's teeth grinding. It is unfortunate, of course, when the clientele suddenly disappears and all that potentia...

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Funny story: The Pope In Mexico

The Pope In Mexico

It was a hot day as Pope Francis addressed over ten thousand people today at the National Auditorium, Mexico City. His Holiness, visibly tired from his hectic days of meetings with local dignitaries, diplomats and politicians seemed very thirsty as he availed himself freely from a large decanter of 'water'placed on a small table by his throne. Pope Francis's Address in Mexico City Raisin...

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Funny story: Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Wall Street - Standard & Poor's has downgraded the credit rating of lemonade stands to CCC from its previous rating of BB. Both ratings are considered non-investment grade, which means S&P considers lemonade stands to be very risky investmen...

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Funny story: Banks Reply to Greece

Banks Reply to Greece

Yes folks, it's ALL FOR YOU, isn't it? "Why can't we all just... get along?" "The International Monetary Fund (IMF) is an international organization headquartered in Washington, D. C., of 188 countries working to foster global monetary coopera...

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Funny story: Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Resigning Attorney General Eric Holder has come forward to clarify what happened with a banking executive who recently spent a night in jail anyway, despite being "too big to jail." This executive (who must remain anonymous, according to Mr. Hold...

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Funny story: Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving - Mostly the Rich

Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving - Mostly the Rich

"I am thankful that I have a job even though I have to work today 'cause my boss told me too." said Chad Shafted in a slight break between customers at 11 at night at the Des Plaines Walmart in Illinois. "I am thankful even though I am not being paid...

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Funny story: No Problem That Rich Get Richer In U.S.

No Problem That Rich Get Richer In U.S.

The jobless rate has fallen to 6% in figures released by the government. President Obama responded, "lot of good stuff is happening in the economy but some minor challenges remain." Said Secretary of Labor, Bud Costello, "The minor glitches in th...

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Funny story: CEOs Form Labor Union,"Justice For Capitalists"

CEOs Form Labor Union,"Justice For Capitalists"

CEOs and CFOs of major U.S. financial institutions have formed a labor union called "Justice For Capitalists." The new group is a pushback response to a movement among shareholders across the U.S. to take back executive salaries and bonuses whe...

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