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Funny satire stories about bakery

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Funny story: Just who is Lempit Opik anyway?

Just who is Lempit Opik anyway?

Lempit Opik (1879-1930) was a manufacturer of biscuits from the German city of Ausberg in south-west Bavaria. Son of Lemartz Opik, the inventor of the cheese grater, and his African-born mother Pitah, Lempit takes his name as a compound of the first...

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Funny story: Can You Stand the Heat??? Hot Pretzel Yoga Not for the Faint of Heart!

Can You Stand the Heat??? Hot Pretzel Yoga Not for the Faint of Heart!

Combining the key principles of hot yoga with the technology of wood-fired brick ovens, the latest fitness craze known as hot pretzel yoga offers participants the opportunity to twist themselves into a pretzel and be baked at 425 degrees for 45 minut...

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Funny story: UK Bakers employ bouncers to bounce out bakery bandits!

UK Bakers employ bouncers to bounce out bakery bandits!

Once upon a time, children; the smell of fresh bread and cakes lured punters into a wonderful world of goodies! Nowadays, punters have to get passed bouncers built like wardrobes to enjoy the experience! A major UK bakery chain has been hit by ba...

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Funny story: A Bakery In San Francisco Charges Extra For Straight Marriage Wedding Cakes

A Bakery In San Francisco Charges Extra For Straight Marriage Wedding Cakes

SAN FRANCISCO - National Focus Magazine has just made it known that there is a bakery in San Francisco that is causing quite a stir. It appears that Skippy & Bippy's Sweet Bakery Shop has started charging straight customers more for their wedd...

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Funny story: Day's bakings are stolen

Day's bakings are stolen

Hungry thieves broke the window of a baker's shop in Gateshead yesterday and stole the day's bakings. Dozens of bread loaves and scores of cream buns were taken along with apple pies and big scones. As soon as George Cook, the baker, arrived,...

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Funny story: Hairy Bikers Fall Foul Of Italian Style

Hairy Bikers Fall Foul Of Italian Style

Popular motor-cycling TV cooks, The Hairy Bikers, have some embarrassing encounters in tonight's episode of their latest programme. For the last few weeks in the BBC's The Hair Bikers' Bake-ation, Si King and Dave Myers have been motor-cycling aro...

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Funny story: D L Misty On The History Channel's New Mini-Series

D L Misty On The History Channel's New Mini-Series

I have been charged with the solemn duty of reporting to you on the new mini-series which will be aired on television's History Channel from next week, entitled Extreme Patisserie in HD. It was the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard who said: 'Patisserie must be eaten forward, but it can only be understood backward.' Whereas it was Henry Ford the motor car salesman who said: 'Patisse...

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Funny story: Al-Qaeda Finally Able to Achieve Dream of Opening Worldwide Food Chain

Al-Qaeda Finally Able to Achieve Dream of Opening Worldwide Food Chain

KABUL, AFG. - After the death of their leader, Osama Bin-Laden, a few weeks ago, the terrorist organisation has finally been able to carry out its true dream. "We decided before [Bin-Laden joined] that we'd open up some food stores. You know, a ba...

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Funny story: Austrian baker arrested after baking cakes with rather a "Nazi" taste!

Austrian baker arrested after baking cakes with rather a "Nazi" taste!

An Austrian baker, Herr Swashsticker (name changed for legal reasons) has been caught baking very "Nazi" cakes for his customers and consequently, is being prosecuted. Austria, birth place of Adolf, has forbidden all Nazi memorabilia and denies ha...

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Funny story: Economically Lagging U.S. Still Leads World In Number of Gay-Ass Bakeries

Economically Lagging U.S. Still Leads World In Number of Gay-Ass Bakeries

The Department of Commerce and Department of Labor jointly reported today that while the U.S. may no longer be the world's preeminent industrial superpower it still continues to outpace the world in its number of gay-ass bakeries. The number of gay-a...

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Funny story: Doggy Bakery Sued For Fraud

Doggy Bakery Sued For Fraud

"There's no beagles in the bagels, no poodles in the popovers and no terriers in the tarts at Marge's Doggy Bakery...and that's fraud!" exclaimed Prosecuter Horace Crone. The whole sorrid affair came to light after a persistant would-be vendor c...

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Funny story: Baker in Bother over Air Biscuits

Baker in Bother over Air Biscuits

A Baker from Stoke-on-Trent is in hot water this week after giving younger customers his 'tasty air biscuits'. Barry Baker, perhaps destined to work in the trade given his moniker, has been baking treats and delights for his local community for th...

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Funny story: Greggs Pull Off Military Coup In Britain

Greggs Pull Off Military Coup In Britain

Greggs the bakers today took over Britain in a sudden military coup. Martial law will begin tomorrow, and anyone visiting any other shop will be detained without trial indefinitely. There was little surprise at the action, as for years every stree...

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Funny story: Sidewalk Talk

Sidewalk Talk

The bakery where I shop has a very long queue, but I don't mind it, because I have my unique pass time: watching a free range white rooster picking sesame seeds on the pavement.

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Funny story: Sen. Ted Kennedy Enthusiastically Dumps Liquor Into Boston Harbor

Sen. Ted Kennedy Enthusiastically Dumps Liquor Into Boston Harbor

A study by researchers at the University of Washington is music to Senator Ted Kennedy's ears. The researchers discovered that Puget Sound in Washington State is beginning to taste like vanilla and cinnamon because of holiday baking.

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