Donald “The Juice” Trump has unveiled his latest invention: Donny J’s X-Ray Spex! Fun for the whole family, now you too can see through people’s clothing to known whether or not they are worth a good grope. But what if they’re wearing bulky cl…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president went in for a routine checkup and his doctors were quite surprised. One of the doctors told POTUS that he is 71 pounds overweight. Trump shouted. “The damn scales are off by 71 pounds. They must have been manufactured...
"What's my Panty Line" Celebrity show, where invited celebrities walk up and down a catwalk while x-ray images are projected on a screen in front of a panel of experts has come in for heavy criticism from feminist groups. Although some men will be in...
In the wake of the news that airports across the country will now be using machines that take nude photographs of passengers, x rays of a person's insides, and body cavity searches that are video taped, it has now been discovered that the administrat...
Sebring, Fla. - A new app available for downloading promises to turn an ordinary cell phone camera into an X-Ray machine that can see through clothing. Invented by thirteen year old Randy Cummings from nearby Titusville, the middle school student sai...
In what may be called an 'arousing' revelation of a dark secret of the deep space, an astronomer has caught S.E.X. on tape. S.E.X., which stands for Sudden Emission of X-rays had been an hot issue for a very long time. The existence of cosmic SEX...
Amid the continuing uproar over unvetted perverts and pedophiles being authorized to run their hands under the shorts of innocent citizens in the US, another outrageous violation was reported when a rogue agent posted pictures on line of the Man with...
With the advent (no pun intended) of the new full-body scanning technology being used by worldwide airports, the Pope has asked makers of the devices to set aside several hundred for purchase by the Vatican. Using the excuse that one can never be...
Washington DC - At a Washington press conference today Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano announced a alteration in TSA policies calculated to alleviate air travelers airport screening concerns. "We here at the Department of Homela...
LONDON, England - An enterprising former airport security worker has hatched a plan to take some of the very best photos he captured of various co-workers and travelers coming through the newly installed full-body scanners at Heathrow Airport and off...
Full body scanners at the Republican National Convention in 2012? "Yes," says Sarah Palin in a new Twitter post. "It is time to find out just who has them and who doesn't have them. Cojones will be a vital part of our 2012 platform and it is about t...
Atlanta, GA - Howard Shemple, a traveling salesman for a large biomedical supply firm, has logged roughly 200,000 miles already this year on his frequent flyer card. This means he can fly anywhere in the world he wants for free at least a couple time...
MIAMI, FL. -- A female TSA supervisor has been suspended without pay for misusing the recently installed airport body scanner. Sources say the as yet unnamed supervisor digitally photographed most of her male employees with its new high-tech security...
London - Police are investigating complaints by a number of female workers at a local airport. Male customs officers asked a number of females to 'try out' the machine simply by standing in it and allowing them to take an X-ray photo. "Cor blimey,...
TSA suspend two airport screeners after they were caught making posters of a man that appeared through the scanner to have three butt cheeks. The cellulite challenged man who boarded a flight to Boise Idaho and was never informed that he was a c...
LOS ANGELES - LAX is the first airport in the United States to install the new Micro-X77 Body Scanner. The Double 7 as it is called was developed by a biologist from Kingston-Upon-Hull, England. Dr. David Faddlefish invented the Double 7 two y...
The new security screening device being tested by the T.S.A. has come under fire for the lack of privacy and for the intensity of the scan. The machine sees through clothing and can reveal intimate parts of a person's anatomy or undergarments. Wo...
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