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Funny satire stories about Vegan

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Carnivorous Weightlifter Finds a "Vegan" Diet that Works for Him

Funny story: Carnivorous Weightlifter Finds a "Vegan" Diet that Works for Him

Eight months ago, 380-pound competitive powerlifter Craig Ramey, in a quest to pack on more muscle, adopted an entirely carnivorous diet, consisting solely of meat and eggs, occasionally coupled with cheese. That, together with a rigorous steroid reg...

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Frozen black pudding saves lives! Vegans are horrified!

Funny story: Frozen black pudding saves lives! Vegans are horrified!

A UK butcher stuck in his freezer after a wicked draught blew through his shop and slammed the freezer door shut, used the only thing possible to save his life; frozen Black Pudding! Yes! Life-saving bloody black puddings are now being installed i...

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Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Funny story: Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Decades following the publication of Australian philosopher Peter Singer's landmark treatise Animal Liberation, which prompted dozens (some say even hundreds) of morally-conscious Americans to adopt a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons, experts have...

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"Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Funny story: "Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...

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"Mmmm, Tofurky!' Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...

Read full story View '"Mmmm, Tofurky!' Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week before Thanksgiving'

New Zealand breastfeeding mum banned from vegan restaurant!

Funny story: New Zealand breastfeeding mum banned from vegan restaurant!

Vegans on the warfare in New Zealand! A mum holding her hungry baby attempted to flop her boob out in a vegan restaurant and was told to put it away and "get out!" The mum, very upset of course, put away her boob and left the restaurant in disgust...

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Health-Conscious Environmentalist Kills Two Birds with One Stone by Going Vegan

Funny story: Health-Conscious Environmentalist Kills Two Birds with One Stone by Going Vegan

As someone interested in boosting his own health and the health of the planet, health-conscious environmentalist Luke Jameson decided to kill two birds with one stone by going vegan. Luke was first inspired to go vegan when he learned that animal...

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Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

Funny story: Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

Have you ever met one of those annoying, self-righteous vegans who obviously considers himself morally superior to all other humans on the planet? If so, you might be encouraged to learn that the recently established Herbivore Assessment & Rating Program (HARP) is working to take those self-important vegans down a notch - by assessing precisely how "vegan" they really are. In calculating a...

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Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Funny story: Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

In a groundbreaking and highly controversial decision, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled to expand the applicability of the Humane Slaughter Act, designed to decrease the suffering of livestock during slaughter, to also encompass the human slaughter o...

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Environmentalist's Compelling Message Overshadowed by Unfortunate Fashion Choice

Funny story: Environmentalist's Compelling Message Overshadowed by Unfortunate Fashion Choice

During a panel discussion on climate change and environmental ethics at Columbia Law School, environmentalist Chuck Perry's compelling message of universal interconnectedness and the devastating effect of animal agriculture on the environment was unf...

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New Vegan Condom Available!

Funny story: New Vegan Condom Available!

A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...

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Bill Clinton Promotes Hitler-Style Vegetarianism at World Rodeo Convention

Funny story: Bill Clinton Promotes Hitler-Style Vegetarianism at World Rodeo Convention

Many rodeo-goers expressed surprise, even shock, at the announcement that former United States president Bill Clinton would be the keynote speaker at the 2012 World Rodeo Convention in Houston, Texas. For one, media sources have in recent years repor...

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Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Funny story: Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...

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Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Funny story: Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and Kevin Lawson, President of the National Vegetarian Society, knew they needed a new approach to recruiting new vegetarians and vegans. "Americans weren't relating...

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Starbucks Proves Extremely Helpful to Amnesia Victim

Funny story: Starbucks Proves Extremely Helpful to Amnesia Victim

When Joseph Brittingham was attacked and beaten by armed robbers in his Upper West Side apartment late one Saturday night in November of 2008, he sustained multiple concussions so severe that it was questionable whether he'd even survive, let alone regain his previous mental and physical abilities. After over two years of intensive care and ongoing, excruciating physical rehabilitation, Joseph...

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Evolution Takes GIANT Leap Forward: NY Cat Turns Vegan!

Funny story: Evolution Takes GIANT Leap Forward: NY Cat Turns Vegan!

What if the law of the jungle were also the law of kindness, compassion, and love? Well, if East Village kitty Sammy Mesda has anything to do with it, one day it very well could be. Sammy, whose blackness, litheness, and sleekness can only call...

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Newt Gingrich campaign promise: colonize the Moon with Mitt Romney supporters

Funny story: Newt Gingrich campaign promise: colonize the Moon with Mitt Romney supporters

Newt Gingrich's latest campaign promise has NASA and Dems on tenterhooks: to colonize the Moon with Romney supporters, vegans and telemarketers. While the absence of unwanted masses in those categories might improve American life as we know it, the p...

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Vampire Shuns Tradition to Become a Vegan

Funny story: Vampire Shuns Tradition to Become a Vegan

Liquoreville, Montana Vampire, Jerry Done-Drinking has recently announced that he has forgone the traditional practice of drinking blood to become a vegan. Apparently, the town of Liquoreville, which residents have accumulated the most DWI's per c...

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