TAMPA BAY – (Sports Satire) - Tom Brady, who can hardly wait for the NFL season to begin, stated that he was really excited to hear that the Buccaneers may be signing Usain Bolt – the world’s fastest man. Brady told ESPN-4 that he called up Bolt a…
Top sprinter Usain Bolt is set to swap his running shoes for horseshoes as he prepares for his latest challenge - competing in the 2014 Kentucky Derby. The 26-year-old Jamaican athlete has undergone a brain-swap operation with a young thoroughbred...
Usain Bolt, the fastest man on two legs, asked Sir Alex Ferguson if he could play for Manchester United, and the dour Scot has agreed to let him trial at an upcoming friendly. "I know he can run," said Sir Fergie. "I saw him in the Olympics. But c...
Sir Alex Ferguson has made the scoop of the season and offered super-sprinter, Usain Bolt, a contract to play for Man United! Bolt, who is totally insane, feels that his speed can benefit United who tend to be pretty slow in the final third (whatever...
Chris Moyles prepares to leave the Radio 1 breakfast show after eight years at the helm Music to my ears... Usain Bolt dating model from Dartford I can't believe this punchlines not Bolter - sorry better. Simon Cowell spotted unshaven with new girl on boat Is Cowell growing a new beard? Rihanna asks London nightclub bouncer "Don't you know who I am?" Bouncer replies "Sorry Riri, didn'...
A hippo, trapped in a swimming pool in South Africa was actually their secret weapon for the Olympics! Unfortunately it got trapped before the Olympics begun and the South African authorities just could not remove the poor thing in time! The hippo...
Photos emerged last night on a leading entertainment website of bonny Prince Harry completely naked in the showers with Double Double Olympic Gold medallist Insane Bolt. The Palace blocked usage of the images in local paper The Windsor Times, but...
Olympic bosses are secretly planning to extend the length of the 100 metres race to make more cash from TV broadcasting rights. As athletes continue to snip fractions off the winning time over recent years, broadcasters are offering less cash for...
Barcelona - El Raval - Sunday: Another hot sunny Sunday in the Catalan capital. For the Shuttlecock clan, there was much to anticipate, for Sunday evenings are traditionally the best times to see the Magic Fountain on the olympic hill of Montjuic in all their spectacular glory. The whole clan were raring to go, and wallow in the Magic Fountain's musical lightshow. All that is, except Mart...
The makers of a popular little catalogue of working tools and accessories, have now got in on the act of trying to equate their products with the recent London Olympics. They have this morning released their new range of wall fixing accessories un...
While the bars stayed open late in Jamaica, after the 200m success of Usian Bolt and his team-mates last night, the fish and chip shops of Manningham was where the greatest celebration took place. It has been revealed that Bolt is yet another succ...
DALLAS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is so happy he was actually seen doing somersaults by several members of his Cowboy Stadium cleaning staff. Jones, who eats, sleeps, and drinks Cowboy blue spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated...
Jack Sullivan, son of West Ham joint-chairman David, has said on Twitter that the club's interest in Liverpool striker Andy Carroll is over. (Daily Mirror) Mainly because Andy Carrolls interest in West Ham never began. Ravel Morrison, now on loan at Birmingham City, was flown home from West Ham's pre-season tour because he needed to have seven teeth removed. (Daily Mail) Don't they have den...
SATURDAY, JULY 28: Absolutely exhausted! Had to carry the Jamaican flag halfway round the stadium at the Olympics opening ceremony last night. Never knew that travelling 200 metres could be so exhausting. Poked myself in the groin with the flag pole when I tried, unsuccessfully, to strike my Lightning Bolt pose, as requested by my Canadian sponsors, Lightning Rotors Inc. The Arctic Monkeys perform...
In previous Olympic Games, it has always been the spectators who have come to watch (and photograph) the athletes and not the other way around. But while many London 2012 athletes were forced to stay in their rooms because the Opening Ceremony was pa...
The pupils of an East London Primary School were treated to an awesome display of speed today as Usain Bolt easily won the egg and spoon race in their annual spots day. Bolt was expected to defend his 100 meter title at the Olympic Stadium but due a...
Due to the heavy rain forecast for the London Olympics, changes are having to be made to some of the events. This has meant that Usain Bolt will no longer be competing in the hundred metre sprint, and will instead be competing in the hundred metre bu...
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