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Sex doll brothel laundering jobs boost US employment

Funny story: Sex doll brothel laundering jobs boost US employment

A new industry has arisen to aid the nation’s unemployed, under-employed, and full-time employed who have only three part-time jobs. At this time, machine laundering in the sex doll brothel movement has not sufficiently developed, and humans are...

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Man Got Dole And Went Straight To Las Vegas

Funny story: Man Got Dole And Went Straight To Las Vegas

There was little sympathy for one man this week, when it was revealed he had received his dole cheque on Wednesday, and then headed straight for Las Vegas, where he spent the fucking lot! David Arsehole, 23, from Manchester, signed on at the Unemp...

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Unemployment Increases by 3.5 Million and What to do?

Funny story: Unemployment Increases by 3.5 Million and What to do?

This week, President Trump needs to deal with bigger issues than backing out of the Paris Climate Agreement. In early June, over 3.5 million Americans became unemployed. Sources say the government and the media are keeping this issue quiet because it...

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New Jersey Legislature Reconsidering Bill That Provides Jobless Benefits to Ugly Hookers

Funny story: New Jersey Legislature Reconsidering Bill That Provides Jobless Benefits to Ugly Hookers

Trenton, NJ (Fox News): The New Jersey legislature has sent back to committee a bill that provides the opportunity for ugly hookers to apply for state jobless benefits. The bill, H6901, added "Ugly Hooker" to the list of occupations eligible to a...

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The Up-Side of Outsourcing

Funny story: The Up-Side of Outsourcing

Globalization and the automation and outsourcing of jobs has caused US unemployment to rise. Since NAFTA was signed, the Glass-Steigal act was repealed and the youth of America have become apathetic little narcissists who deserve everything just hand...

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Twitter Birdies May Lose Jobs, Hope for Remake of Movie THE BIRDS

Funny story: Twitter Birdies May Lose Jobs, Hope for Remake of Movie THE BIRDS

Ever since Twitter announced plans to cut its workforce, the birdies have been all atwitter, wondering if some of them will be losing their jobs. "Hopefully not," said Bill Twitter, Head Bird of the Twitter Birdies labor union. "After all, it is...

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How Unemployment Really Works

Funny story: How Unemployment Really Works

Derek in Accounts Payable was an excitable type, but only to a certain extent. When he rounded the corner to speak to Jason, his boss, colleague and friend he was more excited than normal. The fact that he kept his voice low to avoid others hearing was indicative that it was also something serious. "I've got it Jason! It just came out of the blue and punched me in the eye!" "What is i...

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Hope Stupidly Springs Eternal for Struggling New Yorkers

Funny story: Hope Stupidly Springs Eternal for Struggling New Yorkers

According to recent polls, over 70 percent of New York City residents remain ridiculously optimistic about their futures despite overwhelming indications that nothing in their personal or professional lives will ever change for the better, thereby pr...

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No Problem That Rich Get Richer In U.S.

Funny story: No Problem That Rich Get Richer In U.S.

The jobless rate has fallen to 6% in figures released by the government. President Obama responded, "lot of good stuff is happening in the economy but some minor challenges remain." Said Secretary of Labor, Bud Costello, "The minor glitches in th...

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Bingo! Now available to workers aswell as the unemployed

Funny story: Bingo! Now available to workers aswell as the unemployed

Thanks to George Osbourne's 2014 budget, the pastime of Bingo is no longer confined to the elite and those on benefits. As a resulting cut in Bingo tax, even the common working class can afford to take part in the game which was only affordable t...

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Some Inner City Youth Go To Fukushima

The U.S. unemployment rate fell to 7.7 percent in early 2014. That's rather high, but it's nothing compared to what black teens are grappling with: an unemployment rate that grew to 43.1 percent. Of course the rate is even worse for inner city black...

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Jay Leno Receives His Very First Unemployment Check

Funny story: Jay Leno Receives His Very First Unemployment Check

BEVERLY HILLS - Jay Leno who hosted The Tonight Show for 16 years has just informed the news media that he has received his very first unemployment check. One reporter asked the multi-millionaire if maybe he didn't feel a bit guilty for accepting...

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Google: you will soon be replaced by a robot

SILICONE VALLEY, CA - Google CEO Eric Schmidt says his company is making "progress" in its campaign to solve the unemployment crisis once and for all time by replacing human beings with robots. "By making people redundant," Schmidt said, "we no lo...

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GOP: "Stop Feeding Poor Kids Lunch and We'll Extend Benefits for the Long-term Unemployed"

Funny story: GOP: "Stop Feeding Poor Kids Lunch and We'll Extend Benefits for the Long-term Unemployed"

WASHINGTON, DC--Rep. Al Newtrition, of the Tea Party Caucus in Congress, today announced that the House would be willing to extend unemployment benefits to the long-term unemployed only if the federal government would stop wasting money feeding poor...

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Let The Unemployed Eat Cake Says Heritage Foundation

Funny story: Let The Unemployed Eat Cake Says Heritage Foundation

A spokesman for the Heritage Foundation, a conservative "think tank" appeared on the PBS News Hour and was interviewed by a flummoxed Gwen Awful. The man, Andre Gide, was a visiting scholar from "L'Autrichienne Economique," a neo-fascist institution...

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Jay Leno Explains Politics

Funny story: Jay Leno Explains Politics

As Jay Leno winds down his career, many have noticed a new "bite" in some of his jokes and comments. Last night proved to be no exception as the late night comic gave his take on the current American political scene. The following is a word for wor...

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America, Love It or Leave It says Milton Freeman

New York - The jobless rate in the U.S. has dipped to a five year low on steady gains. Employers hired at least 200,000 workers in the last four months. President Obama, upon hearing the news, said he was "ecstatic" and that the economy was "stup...

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Unemployed to be forced to wear identifying badges

Funny story: Unemployed to be forced to wear identifying badges

The Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith today announced that the unemployed will from now on be forced to wear a badge identifying them as 'Work Shy' so that members of the public can easily identify them. "For too long the Work Shy have...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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