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Funny satire stories about US Constitution

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Funny story: CDC Announces Fully Vaccinated People with Low COVID Risk Will Have Limited Freedom of Peaceable Assembly

CDC Announces Fully Vaccinated People with Low COVID Risk Will Have Limited Freedom of Peaceable Assembly

Constitutional rights are no longer completely off the map in the United States, Dr. Randi Wallace of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently announced; fully vaccinated people at low risk of death from COVID-19 may now gather in very…

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Funny story: Insightful Therapist Probes Client's Childhood Memories for Source of Her Neurotic Aversion to Government Surveillance

Insightful Therapist Probes Client's Childhood Memories for Source of Her Neurotic Aversion to Government Surveillance

“Did you have a major privacy violation as a child or teenager, like maybe someone sneaking into your room and reading your diary?” asked therapist Christina Carter, probing for the source of her client’s expressed reservations about the prospect of...

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Funny story: Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Troubled by the infringement of civil liberties imposed in the name of curbing the spread of COVID-19, Americans seeking to speak truth to power have been hindered by the presence of their State-mandated face masks. “There's been an unprecedented...

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Funny story: CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C…

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Funny story: Politically Correct Woman Reluctantly Admits that Left Kind of Sucks Right Now

Politically Correct Woman Reluctantly Admits that Left Kind of Sucks Right Now

Rewarding as she’d generally found her relentless efforts to say the right thing, avoid offending anyone, and, most of all, vote “blue no matter who,” Rebecca Tucker of Nashville, Tennessee, was recently forced to admit that the left kind of sucks ri...

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Funny story: The President Trump - Governor Cuomo Feud is Getting Uglier by The New York Minute

The President Trump - Governor Cuomo Feud is Getting Uglier by The New York Minute

NEW YORK CITY – Lately the president has been criticizing New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and saying that he is asking for way too many medical items such as medical masks, band-aids, tongue depressors, and placebo pills. The governor has been resp...

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Funny story: U.S. Border Policy Rebranded as Trumpcare

U.S. Border Policy Rebranded as Trumpcare

Not to be outdone by former president Barack Obama's signature healthcare plan commonly known as Obamacare, United States president Donald Trump has rebranded his self-initiated border policy of imposing criminal penalties for unauthorized border cro...

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Funny story: US agency to receive “Laundryland and Sunshine Award” for actions in the new century so far

US agency to receive “Laundryland and Sunshine Award” for actions in the new century so far

The New York Times has revealed a security agency operating as a gigantic laundromat, which specializes in "protecting national interests.” This laundromat (aka "Laundryland") houses enormous scrubbing machines that dwarf an ordinary facility's wa...

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Funny story: Obituary: United States of America, 240, died January 8, 2017, all at once on Capitol Hill, due to absolute shock

Obituary: United States of America, 240, died January 8, 2017, all at once on Capitol Hill, due to absolute shock

The United States of America died of a massive cardiac arrest due what one doctor stated was "absolute shock" while Donald J. Trump was being sworn in as 45th POTUS. Cardiologist on the scene stated that the attack must have been building up for som...

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Funny story: Donald J. "The Donald" Trump Makes the Preamble to the Constitution Great Again

Donald J. "The Donald" Trump Makes the Preamble to the Constitution Great Again

Read the Constitution? Why not write -or re-write- the Constitution? That's Donald J. Trump's new obsession: "fixing" the Constitution he believes is somehow broken. Trump's fascination with the document that has been the basis for American polit...

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Funny story: Trump Vows To "Renovate" the Bill of Rights

Trump Vows To "Renovate" the Bill of Rights

If anyone in this "great" land knows anything about renovation, it may well be presidential hopeful Donald J. Trump. A veteran of the real estate industry for several decades now, Trump surely has renovated his share of properties, buildings and eve...

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Funny story: Trump Says Putin Is His Role Model

Trump Says Putin Is His Role Model

Wikileaks revealed today that it has obtained copies of e-mails between Donald Trump and Russian strongman Vladimir Putin. In the e-mails Trump asks the neo-fascist leader how he can emulate his policies. Here are excerpts from the e-mails that are...

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Funny story: Northern invasion of South 'illegal'

Northern invasion of South 'illegal'

Revisionist historians have claimed that the so-called American Civil War of the 1860s was actually the invasion of a foreign country by the Union and thus illegal under its own Constitution. Recently leaked top secret documents from the US Nation...

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Funny story: The New, Improved Pledge of Allegiance

The New, Improved Pledge of Allegiance

As it now stands, the Pledge of Allegiance as commonly recited in schools and at sporting events and political rallies is too simple and easy. One can chew on it without really tasting the Constitution. It allows one to dress up in the flag feeling all patriotic, self-righteous, and godly when one may be, in reality, venal and totally corrupt. Therefore, this New Pledge of Allegiance is propose...

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Funny story: U. S. Constitution Found Dead in an Alley in Washington, D.C. GOP Being Held as a Person of Interest

U. S. Constitution Found Dead in an Alley in Washington, D.C. GOP Being Held as a Person of Interest

WASHINGTON, D. C.--The Constitution was found dead last Thursday evening in a back alley, its bullet-ridden body soaked in blood. Suspiciously, article five of the Constitution, which begins, "The Congress, whenever two thirds of both houses shall d...

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Funny story: Trump Jury Duty Could End Trial By Jury in The US

Trump Jury Duty Could End Trial By Jury in The US

For the first time in American legal history, a jury has petition the U.S. Congress to eliminate the six amendment to the constitution--the right to a trial by a jury of one's peers. This stunning development occurred last night in New York. Jurors...

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Funny story: Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

To a packed gathering of invited newspaper journalists at the Press Room of the White House, President Obama has announced sweeping reforms of the U.S. education system. The speech was greeted by rapturous applause,... except for one man whom security had to bundle from the hall for swearing obscenities about "lies!", "damned hypocrisy!", and "fascist mind control!". Here is the speech in fu...

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