In a diatribe today under the headline "Brexit Traitors", Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre, writing from his EU funded estate in Scotland, rails against the length of time Brexit is taking. He calls Prime MInister Theresa May a "fucking Remainer bitch" a...
May we join the overwhelming response from Tatton's constituents to congratulate George Osborne on the announcement of his new job as editor of the London Evening Standard newspaper. He's had a passion for journalism for a long time and who wants to...
A middle-aged couple are recovering in hospital after a freak accident on their local high street. George and Florence Sellers tripped over a tightly bound parcel of newspapers which had been left for them outside their newsagents shop. They fell...
Well. Here we are. Here we, ooh, no. Ooh. Ah. Ooh, I don't know where to put meself. Don't know which way to turn tonight. Yes, Missus, you've been there, haven't you? Hmm? You've felt my predicament. Look, now don't start. Shut your mouth. Oh, the riff raff we get in here. But ooh. Ah. No. Don't. Hasn't it been a hard winter? It's been a hard winter. And it's not over yet, I can tell you. Ooh,...
Romanian immigrants who managed to cross the great divide, 25 miles from there to here, illegally, and after being round-up are being given the chance to stay in the UK if they can fathom out one Times crossword in 48 hours. Otherwise they will be se...
Michael Jackson look-alike Carla Bruni is to edit the Sunday Times. The expressionless former model was invited by a group of old sleazebags from the esteemed newspaper last month to take on the role after they discovered that they practically dedica...
Carol writes for the times, well I say writes, she stomps her paws all over a PC keyboard and out comes a load of old shite. Her latest drivel features ridiculing football genius Paul Gascoigne. Gazza has never made a secret of the fact that he suffers bi-polar disorder, a terrible mental affliction that can result in a very self destructive state. However Carol has ignored this, well she w...
London - (Subprime Mess): "Well, it gives me and my lady wife a right laugh each year," Prof V Smart told reporters today, "this fanciful Murdoch rag so-called rich list with its KGB fantasy characters like JK Rowling, the Duke of West...
The Times announced today that it would be including a new 'Reader's Wives' supplement on Sundays.
Albuquerque NM-- In a sign of the times, a Sheriff's helicopter circling over suspected burglars was reportedly brought down by gunfire Monday night. The helicopter's crew was unharmed, although the chopper itself was destroyed on impact.
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