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Funny satire stories about Stock Market

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Funny story: ESPY Awards 2020 - Worst Ratings Ever

ESPY Awards 2020 - Worst Ratings Ever

LOS ANGELES - Critics agree, the 2020 sports season has produced an unmatched display of preening, vanity, and unbridled narcissism among ESPN teleprompter readers. As an awards show, there were a large number of athletic sports celebrities in (Virtu...

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Funny story: Socialist Presidential Candidate Admits Stock Market Addiction

Socialist Presidential Candidate Admits Stock Market Addiction

Norman Eugene Davidson, ten times candidate for president of the United States on the Socialist Party ticket, admitted today, in an editorial in the Socialist Call, that he has been a closeted stock market enthusiast all his adult life. The Call was…

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Funny story: Stock Market. Latest news Headlines

Stock Market. Latest news Headlines

Able Paper and Card fold. Dynamo Elevators coming down. Texas Rifles C.E.O. fired. Blaines Construction cement new deal. Forte Hotels put financial troubles to bed. Strombone Machines on the slide. Carson Fireworks explode onto the market. Gor...

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Funny story: The Stock Market Continues To Spiral Downward and Trump Says He May Cut Social Security Payments By As Much as 70%

The Stock Market Continues To Spiral Downward and Trump Says He May Cut Social Security Payments By As Much as 70%

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source inside the White House divulged that President Trump has been seen stressing out more and more with each passing day. The stock market continues to set records for losses, and as Nancy “Cupcakes” Pelosi said to CNN's Do...

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Funny story: Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism

Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism

Financial analysts say that the Coronavirus is God's way of dealing with the capitalist system of economics, and that the entire mechanism is in danger of crumbling across the globe. The virus, Covid-19, which originated in China, has killed nearl...

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Funny story: Trump Suspends the Laws of Science

Trump Suspends the Laws of Science

Mar-A-Lago, FL Declaring martial law on scientists, President Donald Trump suspended all the rules of Science and forbade anyone to use or follow them until the ban is lifted. Trump would only say that it was a matter of national security. "It se...

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Funny story: Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Geneva: This afternoon, drug manufacturer Hoffman La Roche, most notably famous for bringing the wildly popular pharmaceutical Lysergic acid diethylamide to market (we all know it as LSD, windowpane, double domes, etc.), announced the formation of a...

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Funny story: Business Roundup with The Money

Business Roundup with The Money

"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...

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Funny story: Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise

Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise

Wall Street, Manhattan President Donald Trump has done it again, as he set a new record for negative tweeting. Because he broadcast a tariff deal as 'done' when it WASN'T done, the fine folks on Wall Street went into panic mode, and the Dow plunged 8...

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Funny story: Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...

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Funny story: Stock Market Collapses

Stock Market Collapses

As an amazing run of poor luck continued on the Stock Market, traders were left facing 'total ruin' after high winds yesterday blew the stalls down. The 'early forecast' had been good, but squally showers mid-morning, and strong breezes coming fro...

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Funny story: Stock Market Volatility forces CEO to consider giving up "Wednesday Home"

Stock Market Volatility forces CEO to consider giving up "Wednesday Home"

With China's market crash having an effect on the US Stock Exchange even the wealthiest of "1%" are feeling the pinch. Take, for example, Jeffrey Van Thornhurst, CEO of Takyour Financial Inc. who has felt a very direct personal impact due to the mon...

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Funny story: Tax Hike and Budget Cuts To Pad Chinese Failing Stock Market

Tax Hike and Budget Cuts To Pad Chinese Failing Stock Market

With the recent major drop in the Chinese stock market, the President has ordered Congress to begin emergency planning on how to keep the failing stocks from crashing completely. One of the proposed plans is a national tax hike and even more budget...

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Funny story: IBM sells itself to self

IBM sells itself to self

From the moment the bell rang, the stock market went bananas. For days it had been rumored that IBM was up to something. For the entire week the stock reflected unusual activity. The volume had increased from its usual daily volume of 12 million to 1...

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Funny story: Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Hole in the Wall Street, Moscow - Usury is thriving once again in Moscow's financial district with payday lenders shamelessly jacking up their base rates as a surge of cash-strapped oligarchs comes a-begging following a plunge on the global price of...

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Funny story: Rich Stingy, Working People More Generous

Rich Stingy, Working People More Generous

Between 2006 and 2012, the wealthiest Americans became less generous with charitable donations, as a share of their total income, while lower- and middle-income Americans reached farther into their pockets as they witnessed the need for charity in th...

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Funny story: Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

The British Falkland Islands are now the new owners of all Argentina's Government bonds, infrastructure shares, mining and commodity stock after an anticipated IMF approved rescue plan was implemented at 6.00 hrs this morning. The move is expected t...

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