Donald Trump was a preacher’s son
And when his wife was givin’ birth
And her family gathered round for support
That’s when Donald Trump would start to cheatin’
That’s when Donald Trump would start to hittin’
On any porn star he’d see walkin’
Then he’d look into the camera’s eyes
Lord, to all our surprise,
He’d deny it all.
The only one who could reach Evangelicals
Was a porn star hornd...
Around the country, families, friends and work colleagues are currently planning for the massed mumbling of Auld Lang Syne.
The song, written by Scottish Poet Robert Burns is only really known for its first verse and chorus (much like the national a...
Wayne Hemmingway, (no, not that one) a life long fan of popular singing twins The Proclaimers has given up on his pledge to walk 500 miles for his ex-wife after only one mile, and two blisters that are absolute agony.
The overweight love rat met h...
Wall Street (SAPP) - Hackers from Bavaria have claimed responsibility for toppling a wall full of beer bottles. This follows a long string of mishaps regarding wall security tactics and countermeasures. This most recent security breach is by far the worst.
"There were originally about 103 bottles of beer on the wall," says Bud Visor, chief of wall security. "I will be checking into the log file...
KANSAS CITY, MO - In a thrilling World Series between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals, in which both teams seemed evenly matched, the title came down to one small difference - one team had a kick-ass song from the late 70'...
Miami - Ribert Van Wonkle, AKA Vanilla Ice-cream, is back to bank a little coin to further build his home remodeling company, as well as light up the overseas music charts with a remake of his hit single from the 1990's.
Ice-cream, who seems to be...
Los Angeles - It has been announced that Prince and Bono will team up to record a follow-up to the 1980's anthem "We Are the World" to raise public awareness about the latest immigration crisis along our southern border.
Many other artists wer...
"Controllate che il laccio di plastica sia avvolto in modo
che la fibbia grande sia verso l'esterno. Se la fibbia e rivolta in dentro, girate il laccio in senso opposto prima di inserire la criniera del leone. (Fig. 7) del foglio di istruzioni incluso."
Let's get going now, okay?
While the car is warming up in the driveway
Like someone getting over bypass surgery.
C'mon, let's go,...
Miley Cyrus apparently got permission to do a performance while stark naked and was really excited about the shock effect this would have on her followers and her rivals.
Instead, she sang just two songs, started a thid song and gave up, walking o...
According to recent material discovered at Graceland Elvis Presley was getting ready for a big comeback tour when he died at his home at Graceland near Memphis, Tennessee.
Several of his friends and musicians have claimed this all along but the le...
HOLLYWOOD - Pharrell Williams was nominated for an Oscar for his song "Happy" from the movie Frozen.
Before the show started Williams was asked by an executive with the Academy Awards Show that they did not want him to wear his bent up Smokey the...
CUPERTINO, California - Apple Inc. has just made an astounding announcement regarding its brand new Manzana Laser iPod.
Apple Spokesperson Portia Yamashiro, 27, informed the news media that the consumer electronics giant has designed and developed...
PRESCOTT, Arizona - The rock duo of The Captain and Tennille was married for 39 years when Toni decided to file for a divorce.
Fans of Daryl "Captain" Dragon and his wife (Toni Tennille) were shocked since the two seemed to be as close to each oth...
PRESCOTT, Arizona - Back in the 70s, before cell phones, iPods, email, and Viagra, the husband and wife musical duo of The Captain & Tennille sang a song called "Love Will Keep Us Together."
Well it worked for 39 years but unlike bread and mil...
LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest is reporting that he has just learned that Beyonce, Blake Shelton, and Honey Boo Boo will be recording a Christmas album.
Seacrest was told by an insider on Team Beyonce that the "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" singe...
That's what happens when you just glance at something on television. I flipped back through the channels and it clearly read Miley Cyrus Dad! But I stopped and watched awhile. Being a reporter, I was interested in what Billy Ray had to say.
CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just issued its yearly list of 10 albums that did not make it off the record store and retail store shelves.
Every year hundreds of recording artists go into the recording studio in hopes of hopefully recording the next Thriller by Michael Jackson, Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, or Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen.
But sad to say a good numb...
NEW ORLEANS - After performing in front of a full venue in New Orleans Voodoo Arena Taylor Swift sat backstage in her dressing room talking to Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole.
Taylor said that she cannot believe the way that Miley Cyrus...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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