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Whole Foods Targets Local Markets with “Enhanced Whole Foods” in NYC and “Holy Foods” in Nashville, TN

Funny story: Whole Foods Targets Local Markets with “Enhanced Whole Foods” in NYC and “Holy Foods” in Nashville, TN

It's no secret that Americans love] processed foods or that plenty more love Jesus – and Whole Foods CEO John Mackey recently announced that the company will be tapping into local sentiment by bringing specialized branches to certain markets, beginni...

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Clean Up in Aisle One

Funny story: Clean Up in Aisle One

My Ami, Florida—Pubix, a Florida grocery chain, has posted signs outside its stores: no dogs allowed (unless they are trained service dogs) and no dogs allowed in or on grocery carts (even if they are trained service dogs). The problem is that the do...

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Douche Bag Pays For Stupid Shit With A Credit Card

Funny story: Douche Bag Pays For Stupid Shit With A Credit Card

Snapperville, Iowa. Dick Head, Fuck Face, and Jerk Off. These were just a few words that were used to describe local snot rag, Ryan Skepper, 24, who used a credit card at a gas station to pay for an ice cream cone, a bag of Cheetos, and a bottle of...

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Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'

Funny story: Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'

A man with little better to do than visit supermarkets in the middle of the night, has recounted how he visited his local Tesco Superstore at 3am one morning - just to see what it would feel like! Moys Kenwood, 54, told of how, in September 2017,...

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Elon Musk Develops System to Transport Trapped Shoppers Out of Ikea Stores

Funny story: Elon Musk Develops System to Transport Trapped Shoppers Out of Ikea Stores

Palo Alto, California - Elon Musk, the celebrated technology pioneer who founded and runs Tesla and Spacex, has announced a new startup that would develop technology allowing shoppers, burned-out spouses of those shopping, and others lost in Ikea sto...

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UK supermarket shoppers are sick of being called "Darling" and prefer "Bitch!"

Funny story: UK supermarket shoppers are sick of being called "Darling" and prefer "Bitch!"

A leading UK supermarket has ordered its cash till operators to stop calling punters, darling, sweetheart, luv, or anything else that makes modern day shopper's blood cringe! Back in the old days of the "Old Corner Shop" these expressions were acc...

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Man Discovers Secret to Retail Revival

Funny story: Man Discovers Secret to Retail Revival

Who knew it could be so easy? One man has a unique solution to stop the onslaught of retail stores from shuttering their windows and locking their doors. He is formulating a follow-up plan to prevent tumbleweeds from rolling across barren mall pa...

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Pretty Girl in Convenience Store Wanted Banging

Funny story: Pretty Girl in Convenience Store Wanted Banging

There was much excitement in a Bangkok convenience store at the weekend when it became clear that one of the assistants working behind the counter was being 'rather too friendly' with one of the customers. The incident, which took place in the Cen...

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Hillary's "Secret" Emails Released: Shocking Revelation

Funny story: Hillary's "Secret" Emails Released: Shocking Revelation

The mystery about Hillary Clinton's "missing" emails has finally been solved, and you may be surprised at the answer. Hillary Clinton is a power shopper. The truth is, a great number of Hillary's deleted emails, which were uncovered by the Los...

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Man moans on Twitter about trying to write shopping list while shooting takes place outside

Funny story: Man moans on Twitter about trying to write shopping list while shooting takes place outside

32 year old Simon Smith of Moss Side, Manchester has moaned about trying to write his shopping list as gang members shoot each other directly outside his house. Average resident Mr Smith took to Twitter to 'tell off' local gang members Kid Lowride...

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Thrifty shoppers causing supermarket chaos

Funny story: Thrifty shoppers causing supermarket chaos

Thrifty shoppers spurred by the growing economic downturn are finding new ways to save mega bucks at the grocery store checkout; however, some stores claim that the "penny wise" consumers may see an increase in prices should supermarkets be forced to...

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Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

Funny story: Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

IGNORAN, CE (Acme World News) -- Few weeks ago, it has been reported that the town of Protacio, CE bans Dota in all computer shops in that area due to increasing crime rate. Recently, this same town now bans other kinds of software, which is in fa...

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Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Funny story: Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Putting profit over integrity, four major U. S. retailers have potentially endangered the health of millions of their customers, New Yawk's state attorney general whines. The retailers, identified as Wally World, Wally Green's, Bull's-Eye, and G &...

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The All-New "Shop Only - Shop Til You Drop" Credit Card

Funny story: The All-New "Shop Only - Shop Til You Drop" Credit Card

Want to get that "shopper's high" without actually spending a dime? Need that special rush of Dopamine surging into your brain as you mainstream consumer consumption? Feel that special rush as the retailer swipes and bags your 'Junk" like a heroin addict in a shooting gallery? Well - with the new "Shop Till You Drop" card you just pay a small fee to get an enormous credit limit and you can spen...

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Price guides now to list 'To' amount, as well as 'From'

Many of us are weary of Retail Price Guides which tell us an item could cost : 'From' £25, but in reality costs £50. Examples include fashion and furniture outlets. But here's some good news, Oxford Street Retailers are inviting customers to price...

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Harrods Customers argue over 'Italianish' Products

Italian Artisan Products such as Proscuitto, Prosecco and Parmigiano Stuff are always in demand , amongst the 'Cognoscenti' of sophisticated Retail. However, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing and nowhere more so than in a recent Boxing Day f...

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Supermarket to recall every bit of food ever sold

Funny story: Supermarket to recall every bit of food ever sold

If it wasn't bad enough for the supermarket giants Tesdabury's, it emerged last night that board members were in talks to recall every bit of food ever sold after an unhealthy overweight monkey was found dead in a bag of banana's bought by an elderly...

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Twitter Birdies Go On Shopping Spree

Funny story: Twitter Birdies Go On Shopping Spree

"Shop till you drop" doesn't apply only to humans. Twitter birdies, bored with their usual endeavors, have taken to shopping. Boy, have they taken to shopping! During the last few weeks, the best stores on Fifth Avenue in NYC have been packe...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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