EL PASO – (Satire News) – The Texas county of El Paso has just made history, as it has elected it’s first female sheriff. Boom Boom News reporter Chipotle Caruso broke the story of 27-year-old ex-hooters girl, Vicki Papaya, winning the sheriff’s e…
ROTTEN PEACHES, Georgia – (Satire News) – An 18-wheeler Kroger trailer truck overturned on the General Robert E. Lee Highway, just outside of the little town of Rotten Peaches, Georgia, spilling guacamole dip all over the place. Luckily, the drive…
TULSA – (Satire News) – Tulsa’s Channel 91 Eye-Spectator News has verified that Sheriff Amanda Timberwine, has been re-elected by a percentage vote of 89% to 11%. Comedian Zydeco Dupree told a Las Vegas audience that Sheriff Timberwine is a perfec…
TULSA – (Satire News) - The Tulsa City Council has just named Deputy Amanda Timberwine to be the new city sheriff. Deputy Timberwine, has been with the sheriff's department for three weeks. She is replacing Sheriff Clyde Costello, who suddenly lef…
Crystal Cove, Ohio - Crystal County Sheriff Tom Jones held a press conference this morning to dispute an implication that his department would never have stopped local criminal activity, and that an outside criminal investigative organization was req...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - American Spotlight Magazine is reporting that the 402 head of cattle that the Nevada Bureau of Land Management had confiscated from rancher Cliven Bundy were going to be sold to North Korea. President Obama had talked to a repre...
James Milan of right here in Leonardsville is excited over a lady that he spotted that had recently moved to town "And boy is she a knockout!" "I have been asking around to those who will talk to me, mostly men, and they tell me that she is a wido...
Harold Gillis told everyone gathered around him that he was sorry that he had cut down the wrong tree and crushed the old lady and several pigeons she was feeding. "Look, it could happen to any of us. We think the tree is going to fall a certain w...
ALTOONA, Pennsylvania - Sheriff Drexel Carbonero, 59, has been in law enforcement for over 32 years. And in that time he says he has literally seen it all. But yesterday afternoon as he was out on patrol he came upon something that he could not be...
FAYETTEVILLE, Arkansas - A group of Arkansas residents were surprised to receive a visit from the local sheriff. Reporters for a local television station reported that Sheriff Hadley Foxfair, 51, received word about an illegal activity that was go...
You'll have to guess several times as this writer gave it my beat shot! Believe it or not, it's hogs. I know you're thinking why so many hogs? Well, for one thing, an average sized hog can bring you $250 if you already have a customer ready to sl...
A large number of Wyatt Earps have been found in a town near the CIA's area 51 alien catching centre. Interviewed by journalists, a spokesperson for the Earp clones said, "We are all hanging around here waiting for the Doc Hollidays to be completed".
WASILLA, Alaska - Local authorities in Sarah Palin's hometown of Wasilla are reporting that they have made one of the biggest arrests in the history of the Alaskan town. Wasilla Sheriff Abner Bellbubble stated that at 4 a.m. on Friday morning loca...
Ginger Vitus rode high in the saddle on his worn out donkey. The poor beast had seen better days, like the retirement home he was in before being rustled by Ginger. The pair made their way along the dusty trail toward the town of Calcium, a violent whiskey soaked community on the border of San Antonio and Mexico. A few miles from the destination, Ginger halted. "There must be somewhere to...
The discovery of a journal in a London trunk has revealed many unknown facts about the whole Robin Hood legend. Historians and historical archaeologists are hurriedly reading through the pages and cross checking facts to determine what did happen in...
39 year old, Vzzt, is recovering in hospital after claiming to have been abducted by so-called 'humans'. The father of 297 minomotz says that he was innocently going about his business when all of a sudden an...
The Wrong Sheriff (A Tale of the West) by David Beaumont Most fair-minded folk Just want to live life In a way we agree Avoids trouble & strife, But there are some among us Who consume every day In holy pursuit Of clout, m…
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