BROKEN BOW, Nebraska - Flossie Wunderwurst, the director of The Napping Nightingale Senior Citizens Home, which houses 603 older men and women, states that, everyone in the entire home is doing well and are in a happy mood, considering. The long-...
NAUGATUCK, Connecticut – An elderly couple, who are both in their late 80s, have been taken into custody by Naugatuck police officers. Officer Flint Summersun informed the media that had assembled at a local duck pond, that the two octogenarians,...
POCATELLO - The director at Pocatello's Au Gratin Potatoes Senior Citizens Home, Artie Knoxmelon, 49, has apologized to the families of 19 of his residents. Knoxmelon told the news media that he had seen Miley Cyrus twerking on a television show a...
Recent research shows that short- term memory and long term focus in older adults can be enhanced by participation in military video games involving blood and slaughter. Killing people in the videos must be accomplished in the space of two or three...
WALLA WALLA, Washington - Shocking Illustrated Monthly, the definitive magazine publication dealing with the world of electricians and electricity, has just done a tribute story on Horatio Byron Kandlekindle. Mr. Kandlekindle, who just turned 98,...
Kissimmee FL: A lavish anniversary party was held at Disney World for Betty and Harold Smith originally from Minot ND, currently retired to Tampa FL, having been married to each other for 75 years. The celebration was held at a hotel in the Magic...
This article, was designed by the effervescent, disconsolate, decrepit, depressed Bartholomew Utterwaithe (66), to offer help, support, succour and advice to those of the population who are entering their 60's - in an effort to lessen the culture-shock suffered by many, when they also get made redundant at 62 years of age, then suffer heart failure, loneliness, depression, and being overcharged fo...
The following (with permission) is based on Inchcock's magazine article "20 questions about Senior Citizens answered by a Senior Citizen," but from a US readers perspective. It's akin to Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini. 1) Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them? A: Look in the adult bookstore under PORN videos. 2) Q: How ca...
1) Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them? A: I look in the library under Romantic Fiction. 2) Q: How can a man cope during his wife's menopause? A: Blowed if I can remember! 3) Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse? A: She should tell him she's with child. 4) Q: What can an older woman do for the w...
The following communication was received in our mail box this month, from one of our more mature readers. The other morning, whilst I was preparing my delicate facial features for their daily shave, I could not help but notice the corrosion and disintegration those facial features had undergone in recent years. I began to dream up questions I'd like to ask the mirror, and afterwards I penned th...
MY THOUGHTS ON MP's Today Our beloved crooked MP's, got elected using lies, nepotism, and audacity, Along with astucity, loquacity, Daddies money, and much pugnacity, The rich ones got selected for office, where they use their verbosity, No one questioned their morals, nihilism, greed, or alcoholicity, They hang on to office using bribes, lies, backhanders and speciosity, Fiddle...
One of our more mature contributors to the Inchcock Gazette, has sent in a list of his qualities and skill's he's amassed during his epic and boring lifetime - with an offer to assist others who do not have such qualities, of him passing them on if required. I recall in 1959, the Reverand Salmon taking me to one side, and telling me: "Whatever skills or capabilities you gain, there will always...
Many years ago, around 1957,I was totally fascinated by the television set my dad bought when I was about 9 years old. A small black and white picture came into our living room each day, to amuse us and bring us World News. No needed to get off the couch to change channels, we only had ONE. We DID have to wait a few minutes for the t.v. to 'warm up' though. The test card showed when there...
Don't worry about getting old. It happens to us all. JUST DON'T JOIN THE BLUE RINSE CROWD. Our knees may creak and our backs may ache but just stay young at heart...hang around with younger people and if your hair turns white,enjoy it. JUST DON'T JOIN THE BLUE RINSE CROWD. I was lucky in that my hair started to turn white in my 20's and was totally white by my late 20's. It's in the genes...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
