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Funny satire stories about Scousers

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Funny story: Liverpool Taxi Driver Lets Passengers Know Where All The Black People Live

Liverpool Taxi Driver Lets Passengers Know Where All The Black People Live

Liverpudlian cab driver, Barry 'BJ' Cross, a thin man with pearly unnaturally-white teeth, is providing, in his mind, an essential service to visitors to the city made famous by the Beatles, football and stolen television sets and hubcaps. "When I...

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Funny story: Spitting llama escapes from Liverpool zoo and is arrested in Manchester!

Spitting llama escapes from Liverpool zoo and is arrested in Manchester!

An ex-Liverpudlian llama saw red on Saturday after breaking out of his cage in Liverpool Zoo along the Anfield Road. He was seen running towards a forbidden zone for Liverpudlian spitting llamas called Old Trafford, Manchester, where many strange ani...

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Funny story: Liverpool Tourist Office To Sell Fake "Car Wheels Missing" Wheel Covers To Fool Thieves

Liverpool Tourist Office To Sell Fake "Car Wheels Missing" Wheel Covers To Fool Thieves

Realistic cardboard images of a wheel on bricks are being sold as wheel covers at Liverpool Tourist Centres from today. The officer for tourism, Mrs. Morris-Minor told our Inner City Travel Correspondent, "Every time someone parks up for a few minute...

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Funny story: Liverpool Close to becoming Pain in the Ass

Liverpool Close to becoming Pain in the Ass

Liverpool are close to being a pain in the ass again as their fans are on the brink of regaining their status as the most obnoxiously arrogant in England. Once the cocky, hubcap nicking Kings of the terraces, Liverpool have had their sense of smu...

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Funny story: Cockneys tell more porkies than Scousers and Taffies

Cockneys tell more porkies than Scousers and Taffies

Cockneys tell more lies than Scousers or Taffies, according to a local survey. The Londoners score an average of seven porkies a day, with Scousers achieving five and the hapless Taffies managing only four little fibs. Both the Cockneys polled...

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Funny story: Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

According to at least one school of thought, the thieving penguin on David Attenborough's BBC smash hit series 'Frozen Planet' was probably a Scouser. So says Donald Skoob, 93, a janitor at Salford University. Viewers of the nature documentary...

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Funny story: Aintree: Ladies Day...more like Halloween in April

Aintree: Ladies Day...more like Halloween in April

Ladies Day at Aintree was more like Halloween in April. If those 'so called' ladies think they look classy then I feel sorry for them. Someone should tell them to stop shopping in the High Street Charity Shops.. Looking at the photographs in the 'dailies', most of those knees shown off by mini-skirts, are quite offensive to look at. They should have carried a warning, "Do Not Look If You...

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Funny story: Scousers steal Andy Carroll's ponytail

Scousers steal Andy Carroll's ponytail

Britain's most expensive Geordie, Andy Carroll has had his trademark ponytail stolen on his first day in Liverpool. The 23 year old from Byker Grove in Newcastle was surrounded by a gang of curly haired, moustached, shell suit wearing stereotypes...

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Funny story: 70,600 homes likely to be burgled over the Christmas period

70,600 homes likely to be burgled over the Christmas period

In a survey by Insurance people L<ss Than, 70,600 homes are likely to be burgled over the Christmas period. L<ss Than spokespersonnage Morry Poll said, "It's a shocking statistic, moreso when you consider that over 95% of the offences will...

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Funny story: Prince Charles to learn Scouse

Prince Charles to learn Scouse

New research has shown that the Scouse accent is the best for talking to plants in order to make them grow. Field trials were conducted at Cambridge University into whether or not talking to plants actually contributed anything to their growing ab...

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Funny story: Manc Claims 'It's Not Us With The Speech Impediment -- It's The Scousers.'

Manc Claims 'It's Not Us With The Speech Impediment -- It's The Scousers.'

Mancunian newspaper vendor, Johnny Trousers, of Ardwick Green today categorically denied that Mancunians have a speech impediment, and the real problem in that department lies with Scousers. "We're all right mate, we are, us," Trousers said. "It's...

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Funny story: Annoying, fat, Scouse woman on Deal or No Deal drives angry viewers to watch Midsomer Murders instead

Annoying, fat, Scouse woman on Deal or No Deal drives angry viewers to watch Midsomer Murders instead

Daytime TV viewers were up in arms today after self righteous, gnome Noel Edmonds, chose an irritating lump of lard from Liverpool to be the contestant on Deal Or No Deal. Fans of the show took an immediate dislike to her and reached for their rem...

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Funny story: Steven Gerrard in court for 'being an annoying Scouse git'

Steven Gerrard in court for 'being an annoying Scouse git'

Liverpool footballer and underachiever Steven 'Calm Down, Calm Down' Gerrard was today appearing in court, on what the judge called 'the worst case of Scouse gittery that it has been my misfortune to hear about'. CCTV footage shows Gerrard acting...

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Funny story: Degree in Scousology introduced

Degree in Scousology introduced

Universities across Britain today introduced a new degree today - Scousology. New professor of Scousology at Oxford University, R A Billy, said: 'This is the way forward for education in this country, just like awarding Victoria Crosses to token n...

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Funny story: Failed Comedian Calls It A Day

Failed Comedian Calls It A Day

The world of show business and international politics today united in tribute to Liverpool funnyman Micky MacWack, who today retired after handing over the microphone to Skivingdale Working Men's Club Concert Secretery Freddy MacWack for the final ti...

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Funny story: Mickey Mousers Advised To Calm Down By Surgeon General

Mickey Mousers Advised To Calm Down By Surgeon General

The Surgeon General of the United States Of America, a close friend the President elect, Barack Whotsisname, tonight advised Scousers to calm down. Sky sports were this evening inundated with calls from squeaky voiced Scousers distraught by their...

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Funny story: "Darryn Lyons Ate My Blackberry" says Cilla

"Darryn Lyons Ate My Blackberry" says Cilla

Just weeks after he was cautioned by police for swallowing the iphone of a woman who refused to sell him photos of Pete Doherty at a cash machine, the cockerel-headed Aussie affectionately known as 'Mr Paparazzi', has been at it again. After enjo...

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