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Funny story: It's Friday & Welcome to Today's News with Rush Limbo! #12

It's Friday & Welcome to Today's News with Rush Limbo! #12

It's Friday & Welcome to Today's News with Rush Limbo! From behind the silver mike...had to sell the gold one, this is Friday when YOU choose the subject! Turdley is taking your calls and we'll hear from you after these news updates: According to the latest Wall Street Journal, the reign of the dollar is almost over. However, the treasury says that as the dollar shrinks, it will take le...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo #11

Today's News With Rush Limbo #11

Today's News With Rush Limbo Good morning. We're back for another eleven hours of truth and insight! Here's what's happening: Sarah Palin now has her tenth polar bear rug. She stated that this was by far the toughest one yet. It almost caused the helicopter to crash. Charlie Sheen has asked me to help him get back on his show. He was at a party last night and I told him I'd try to see if...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo! #10

Today's News With Rush Limbo! #10

Today's News With Rush Limbo! "What a great program we have for you today. Newt 'The Poot" Gingrich is supposed to call in during our ninth hour, so be sure to stick around for that one. Ready for the calls, Turdley? We'll get right to them right after these news bits: Did you know that high school kids are already getting ready for the Prom? That's what I have been told. Boy have things c...

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Funny story: The News With Rush Limbo! #9

The News With Rush Limbo! #9

Today's News With Rush Limbo Newt Gingrich has announced that he has created an exploratory committee for a possible run for the Presidency in 2012. "The first thing I want to do is to determine is if my ass looks too big", he stated yesterday. Newt and his ass will be here live with us on Thursday. Be sure to have them bring in the other Big Chair, Turdley. According to Barack Obama's...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo #8

Today's News With Rush Limbo #8

Today's News With Rush Limbo "Back from a weekend. Great golf round with former VP, Dick Cheney. Only managed to clip my ear with a three iron. That as before he threw it into the lake where he had just hit three straight balls. Oh well, it'll grow back and the stitches will be removed Friday. President Obama had a Motown Music Night....while the country continues to go to hell in a hand bas...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo #7

Today's News With Rush Limbo #7

Today's News With Rush Limbo: "Can't wait for the weekend. I have a big golf game scheduled and former VP Dick Cheney is going to be in the foursome. Yes Turdley, I'll keep an eye out for his Big Bertha. Do you realize that it was two years ago that Bernie Madoff began his 200-year sentence? What? OK, his 150-year sentence. Sorry if you're listening. Gave you a scare there. Anyway, a fond ha...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo #6

Today's News With Rush Limbo #6

Today's News With Rush Limbo: "This is America's Answer Man, along with Turdley, my assistant. What are we going to do tonight, Turdley? Right! We're going to take over the world! A homicide car bomber in Baghdad, believed to be that of a man who lost all but two of his virgins in a game of dominoes during the previous night, blew up himself and the winner of his other 70 virgins last night...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo #5

Today's News With Rush Limbo #5

Today's News With Rush Limbo! We're ready to go here. Today is all about what YOU, the listener, want to talk about...but please, no more stutterers. I know I have a hearing problem but the 15-minute call for the guy to ask the question yesterday was a little too much. Just have a friend call. Maybe a "Peckerhead" can help you out. In the news today, it seems like President Obama's mother-i...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo: #4

Today's News With Rush Limbo: #4

Today's News With Rush Limbo: "Good morning all you "Peckerheads who follow the show daily, and to everyone else including you liberal note-takers from PMSNBC! In his new book just out, Donald Rumsfield said that the failure to find weapons of mass destruction after two years in Iraq badly damaged the Bush administration's credibility, especially that of his own. The new book is entitled "O...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo: #3

Today's News With Rush Limbo: #3

Today's News With Rush Limbo: "Welcome to everyone, especially my loyal "Peckerheads". The US Post Office is still threatening to close on Saturdays or begin charging 95 cents for a stamp. In a national poll that was conducted last week, 92% of those polled said that they agree with the post office. "Give them Saturdays off. Charge more for stamps too if you have to. Please, please don'...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo: #2

Today's News With Rush Limbo: #2

Today's News With Rush Limbo: "Welcome to everyone, especially my loyal "Peckerheads". Apparently the law is changing in Texas so that any or every student can carry a gun to school. So if you want an honor student, send them to Texas where the teachers will never fail them...and live to tell about it. Also, in Abilene the principal has ordered a special meeting on the subject with opponent...

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Funny story: Today's News With Rush Limbo!

Today's News With Rush Limbo!

Today's News With Rush Limbo! "In Utah, scientists building the largest anteater trap ever. I'm sorry, that's antimatter trap ever. Meanwhile in Libya, Colonel Gadhafi vows to "fight to the death. To die a farter!" I'm sorry, that should be a martyr! I get my hearing straightened out and my eyes are failing me. No wonder, these aren't my glasses. Turdly, you have my glasses. These ar...

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