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Queen's bank to be flogged off to Arabs

Funny story: Queen's bank to be flogged off to Arabs

London - Some Abu Dhabi shaikhs are in the frame to snap up disgraced royal bank C**tts & Co. The Queen's personal slushfund was fined £8.75million yesterday after the FSA slammed its high-risk 'politically exposed persons' caught up in a Pala...

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That's No Lady, That's Mrs Fred Goodwin!

Funny story: That's No Lady, That's Mrs Fred Goodwin!

London - Once she was the toast of the town, chatelaine of a sprawling country seat, ermine knickers, monogrammed stationery, bank accounts at C*untts & Co (now sadly bankrupted by her ex), a box at Royal Ascot and above all the title of Lady Goo...

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Transfer Window: Knighthood moves back to Palace in last minute deal

Funny story: Transfer Window: Knighthood moves back to Palace in last minute deal

The knighthood of RBS 'banker' Sir Fred Bad-Karma has sensationally moved back to its former home of Buckingtooth Palace. The move came around after a public outcry, namely a Mr Deesgusted from Tunbridge Wells, and the knighthood revealed to it's...

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RBS propose to pay Chief Executive £7m, and investment Executive £5m Bonus!

Funny story: RBS propose to pay Chief Executive £7m, and investment Executive £5m Bonus!

The Guardian: The Royal Bank of Scotland proposes to give a £5million bonus to its investment banking chief, with another £7million for its chief executive More than three years after bankers brought the country to the brink of collapse, their cavalier destruction of British businesses goes on and on. Look at Peacocks, the retailer which employs more than 10,000 across the UK. At the heig...

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Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed as being run by lucky bastards

Funny story: Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed as being run by lucky bastards

With the news that RBS bankers are to get £950m in bonuses despite making a £1.1bn loss and costing the country hundreds of millions in cutbacks as the country props it up, it was revealed today that the bank is is in fact run by complete lucky basta...

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UK bankers confirm that they won't be taking big bonuses after all

Funny story: UK bankers confirm that they won't be taking big bonuses after all

Following a consultation with the government, which included a meeting with Chancellor Ozzy Osborne and the rather tall Business Secretary Dr Vince Price, the chief executives of the big four banks decided that out of respect to the rather large pile...

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Protestors attack wrong bank in wrong country today in London

Funny story: Protestors attack wrong bank in wrong country today in London

As the G20 Summit got underway in London today, thousands of protestors stormed into what they thought was the Royal Bank of Scotland's headquarters there. 'You'd think the word 'Scotland' would be a clue as to where the headquarters really is', s...

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Sir Fred Goodwin's Windows Smashed

Funny story: Sir Fred Goodwin's Windows Smashed

The Edinburgh home of former Royal Bank of Scotland boss Sir Fred Goodwin has been damaged overnight. Windows of the house and Mercedes S600 car parked in the driveway were smashed. The police are appealing for witnesses or anyone who may know w...

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MP's Pension Fund to Join Class Action Against RBS

Funny story: MP's Pension Fund to Join Class Action Against RBS

As several local authority pension schemes added their support to the class action lawsuit being brought against RBS in the US by Cherie Booth QC (Tony Blair's wife), it became apparent that the MP's own pension fund wants in on the action. The cl...

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Sir Fred Th'shred unveils new board game - "It can be a good win"

Funny story: Sir Fred Th'shred unveils new board game - "It can be a good win"

Widdington Games, in conjunction with former Royal Bank of Botchland boss Sir Fred Th'shred, has used part of his enormous pension to develop a game which is set to take the world of board games by storm. Called "Floptopoly", and based on the worl...

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Ex-RBS Sir Fred: I'm an innocent penguin

Funny story: Ex-RBS Sir Fred: I'm an innocent penguin

Ex-RBS boss Sir Fred Goodwin has defended himself over charges he demanded a massive £16m pension pot to get out quick. As Downing Street and the Treasury pressure Sir Fred to give up his £650,000 a year pension, he has rounded on them saying he i...

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Sir Fred Goodwin 'Laughs Off' RBS Losses

Funny story: Sir Fred Goodwin 'Laughs Off' RBS Losses

Sir Fred Goodwin, the former boss of the Royal Bank of Scotland, who receives a £650,000-a-year pension from them after he completely wrecked it, has today laughed-off the the bank's £24billion losses, saying that "it's only money". Prime Minister...

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Chancellor sets RBS bonus limits to £350 million per branch manager

Funny story: Chancellor sets RBS bonus limits to £350 million per branch manager

Chancellor Alastair Darling has announced that the government is limiting bonuses to branch managers of the Royal Bank of Scotland to £350 million each. And that bonuses would no longer be paid in backhanders and foreign holidays with Swiss financier...

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Darling to use RBS cash machines in quantitative easing

Funny story: Darling to use RBS cash machines in quantitative easing

Alistair Darling is to start using RBS cash machines to put quantitative easing in place. The BBC's Robert Peston reports the Treasury is drawing up plans to pump more money into the economy through lucky cash machines. On average, according to...

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UK Economy Booms Following VAT Rate Decrease

Funny story: UK Economy Booms Following VAT Rate Decrease

Wereinthemoney, England - The Labour government's plan to reduce the Value Added Tax (VAT) on goods and services from 17.5% to 15% took effect today with resounding results for the economy. The move to stimulate consumer spending and head off the imp...

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Royal Bank of Scotland apologises to customers

Funny story: Royal Bank of Scotland apologises to customers

Sir Ron McKlipklop, the chairman of RBS has told his shareholders that he is 'profoundly sorry for the current state of affairs of the bank'. At the banks' annual Christmas luncheon, which is held weekly in a different 5-star hotel so as not to of...

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Queen's seizure as Gorgon Brown nationalises royal bank

Funny story: Queen's seizure as Gorgon Brown nationalises royal bank

Buckingham Palace - (Northern Rock Bottom Mess): Palace flunkies were out with the smelling salts today after the Queen was told that royal bank Cunts & Co has been nationalised along with its parent company Royal Bank of Snotland. Old Fatty M...

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Royal Bank of Scotland Launches Funraiser!

Funny story: Royal Bank of Scotland Launches Funraiser!

When most organizations initiate a big fundraiser, it is usually for a good cause like cancer or AIDS or bagpipe preservation. But the RPS has defied tradition by announcing a funraiser for itself!...

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Breaking news…

Emmanuel Macron Doesn’t Speak Trumpish

Anyone notice, French President Emmanuel Macron speaks better English than Donald Trump? And no superlatives necessary...Sad!
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