BEVERLY HILLS - (Satire News) - Dr. Emerson Otto Bixfix, 52, is regarded by many as the foremost pet psychiatrist in the entire nation. Animal Land Magazine has just named him the "Top Pet Psychiatrist In The USA." According to ALM, in his 25-y…
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - One of the leading political psychiatrists in the nation has just written an article on why Putin is in dire need of psychiatric help Dr. Ripley P. Buckweather, who has Masters Degrees from Texas A&M, UCLA, Gram…
After years of therapy, Jermaine “Wiggy” Wiggins has made a major breakthrough. On the Greg Hill morning radio show this morning, Wiggy announced he’s just gone through a life altering change, realizing his fixation for certain NFL players stem fr…
Social distancing and all the paraphernalia that goes with it are causing those with split personality conditions a headache - or two. "It ain't easy," said Brad Park, currently being treated for schizophrenia. "I wear a facemask when I speak to m...
While the term “social distancing” has an off-puttingly clinical ring, the fact is, we each bring our own individual style and flair to the practice of self-isolation. What kind of social distancer are YOU? Peruse these common social distancing types...
Surpassing all mental health expectations, Cameron Foster of Nashville, Tennessee, became the first patient on record to be diagnosed as not merely bipolar, but tripolar. "It’s an honor," said 42-year-old Foster of his newfound claim to psychiatri...
Struck by her generally bland manner peppered with the occasional mildly amusing remark, some acquaintances of Marsha Tuckerman of St. Louis, Missouri, have come to suspect that Tuckerman may suffer from a condition known as borderline personality.
No longer mere fodder for sci-fi novels and futuristic movie odysseys, artificial intelligence is a present-day reality, as demonstrated by 38-year-old Ben Higgins of Nashville, Tennessee. "I'm not actually smart at all," said Higgins, "but I've l...
At a work meeting during which she scarcely paused for breath between sentences, Erin Barnett mentioned that she tends to be extroverted – a quality that some of her colleagues had already gleaned from the fact that she never stops talking. “Yeah,...
"Emotions are exhausting," noted Ben Moffat of Nashville, Tennessee. "It would be a whole lot easier to have just two of them." For that reason, Moffat explained that he is seriously considering becoming bipolar. "That way, when someone asks me h...
For all his exceptional looks, intelligence, and abilities, 28-year-old Bryce Rodman had had a checkered history with the therapists he'd worked with, until he finally found one smart enough to understand him. "I wouldn't say it's rocket science,...
By Dr. Ronald Thompson Are you psychotic? Sure, we all wonder that. In my practice, patients have asked me that question numerous times, and I always give them the same answer: Probably. But I needed more than that to actually prove that someon...
With the help of decades of therapy to turn around his addiction, self-esteem, and abandonment issues while trying to avoid being consumed with resentment at his narcissistic, manipulative mother for causing all his problems, 33-year-old Nate Wagoner...
In the face of accelerating climate chaos, threatened raids on undocumented immigrants and their families, and incessant presidential tweets reminding them of the maturity level of the person leading their nation, many Americans say that they are eag...
WHITE HOUSE, Washington D.C. USA: With British ambassador in the United States describing President Donald Trump and his entourage, as “inept” and “uniquely dysfunctional”, THE President, Donald Trump has now made the following statement: “My Pre...
Unlike most of his fundamentalist Christian fellows, progressive Christian psychologist Lee Haley of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t believe that gay men are doomed to hell or in need of therapeutic “conversion,” but he admitted to secretly judging his...
After decades of struggling with his deep-rooted existential malaise, Mitchell Hartley, a writer living in New York City, finally sought professional help in dealing with the transience of everything and the inherently unsatisfactory nature of life,...
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