A proverb is said to be a saying that expresses a basic or general truth. On the other hand, an anti-proverb is proverb altered deliberately or absentmindedly for humorous or specific effect. Bibi, Prime Minister of Israel, in his recent speech to USA Congress, applied ant-proverb by saying, "So when it comes to Iran and ISIS, the enemy of your enemy is your enemy." The standard wording o...
* Eager to possess a pair of trendy newsprint pants? Then invest in a trouser press. * Bah! Hircine thieves! They really get my goat! * Beware the Ides of March (and the 'orns of April). * Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, if you want hot pants. * Practice makes perfict Practice makes perficked Practice makes perfect * On the first day of Christmas my true love s...
Tiddles lies shivering in front of the fire, swathed in bandages and looking at me accusingly while I await the knock on the door. The vet said he was calling the RSPCA after what I had done and those interfering busybodies will be here soon. It was all in the name of a good cause, I tell Tiddles, but he still looks at me in that way and refuses to purr. What is his problem? Our verdict: I...
Mathematicians at Keswick University have produced a proof that shows how to fit a square peg into a round hole. "Using topological manipulation calculations," said theoretical mathematician, Patience Tested, "we have successfully transmogrified a...
A wary worm deprived a bird of its breakfast early yesterday morning. One of the notorious 'early birds' was up very early on the look-out for a juicy worm to eat. As usual, its timing was OK, because an early worm was just waking up. "I was think...
Carlton Hennings of the Psychological Institute of Swindon, Sussex heard the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" when he was very young. Being a keen analytical thinker, he decided that he would try and determine whether there was any truth in this Old Wives Tale. "From the age of nine I have followed a strict regime," said Hennings, now fifty-eight...
Zoo keeper Friedrich Reiseldt fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more then a bushel of berries figs and prunes before the plugged up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Fred, nearly 46, was giving t...
Philadelphia, PA- Andrew Dovidio, 27, mistook a knock on the door yesterday morning for a bill collector, when in fact it was actually Opportunity. "Dude, I woke up to this harsh knocking," reported the perpetually balding Andrew, "and my fir...
As the great Miguel de Cervantes once said, 'a Proverb is a short sentence based on long experience'. The English language is littered with many such traditional phrases which have over the years been accepted as part of what Shakespeare called 'the...
Alice Springs - Ostrich rancher Elliot Mossy has filed a complaint with the local police against his neighbour Morris "The Menace" Miller. Mr. Miller, a retired teacher, has dedicted his retirement to see how many popular expressions he can person...
Confucius one of the greatest Chinese thinkers and social philosphers of all time had literally thousands of sayings. One of his better known is "The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying small stones." Noted Australian writer and famed koa...
Purists of the English language were left reeling today when the new cable tv programme 'Proverb Busters' concluded that cleanliness was not next to godliness.
Sidney, Australia - An elephant killed a 30-year-old-man in eastern Thailand today. Reportedly, he provoked the fatal incident by hitting the idle beast while it was asleep in a field. Onlookers tried to rescue the man from the enraged six-year-old c...
P4YourGenitalia has launched a new webshite called StallWall. Scrawl dedicated to the cleverest bathroom wall graffiti from across the shittin', pissin world. The site utilzes a toiletcam to record the proverbs of the pissers and the shiboleths of the shitters. In the first release of the webshite, the top ten floaters rose to the surface:...
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