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Vatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide

Funny story: Vatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide

In a gesture of solidarity with politically-despondent Americans, the Vatican has announced that for the duration of Donald Trump's presidency, suicide by Americans will not be considered a mortal sin disqualifying them from eternal salvation. "We...

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"Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"

Funny story: "Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"

VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis provided a "casual response" to journalists after being asked about "Migrants" and the Border Policy of the United States. Democrats in the US Congress embarked on an "All-Christmas-Long" Media Blitz on how the "Religion...

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Christians Follow Pakistan with Campaign for Spoof Writer's Death Sentence

Funny story: Christians Follow Pakistan with Campaign for Spoof Writer's Death Sentence

"We've had enough of his shit!" says His Holiness Pope Francis, sovereign of the Vatican City State in a personal encyclical on blasphemy, which was read out to congregations worldwide at the weekend. The person to whom he referred, is none other tha...

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Pope Francis Canonizes Video Game Character as Saint

VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis, dressed in a black "Sonic The Hedgehog" t-shirt, blue jeans, and shades, addressed his flock, announcing that the Church would canonize Frisk from "Undertales" as a saint. "Based on the news, someone has to say or do s...

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Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

Funny story: Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

In a Vatican press conference today, it was announced that Pope Francis has changed the teachings of the Catholic faith to oppose the death penalty in all circumstances, except for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The new position was met with incred...

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Pope Francis Spotted at International Atheist Convention

Funny story: Pope Francis Spotted at International Atheist Convention

Last weekend came a huge blow to people of faith when Pope Francis was spotted at the International Atheist Convention in Stockholm, Sweden. When questioned about his attendance at the conference, Pope Francis stated that he was there not as a protes...

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Religious Leaders Threaten to Impeach God if He Doesn't Do a Better Job of Ruling the Planet

Funny story: Religious Leaders Threaten to Impeach God if He Doesn't Do a Better Job of Ruling the Planet

His purportedly eternal tenure notwithstanding, God may be at risk of losing His job as ruler of the planet, say religious leaders, who have threatened to impeach Him if they don't see a marked improvement in His performance. Environmentally progr...

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Man With Origami Crane Attacks The Pope, Knocking Him Out

Funny story: Man With Origami Crane Attacks The Pope, Knocking Him Out

Duluth Minnesota - An angry Duluth man attacked the pope with an origami crane knocking him out cold on Lake Superior where the Pope was holding an ice skating prayer breakfast. The pope was aware of the man's intent and when he saw him approaching...

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Girl Steals Hat, Reveals Pope's Illuminati Tattoo

Funny story: Girl Steals Hat, Reveals Pope's Illuminati Tattoo

When adorable 3 year old Ester Ruth snatched Pope Francis' hat from his head outside of the Vatican, she also revealed a little known fact about the pontiff: Pope Francis has several tattoos including an Illuminati inspired design on the top of his h...

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God Files Defamation Lawsuit Against Angel Soft Toilet Paper

Funny story: God Files Defamation Lawsuit Against Angel Soft Toilet Paper

Vatican City, Italy - God has given word to Pope Francis that he wants the pontiff to file a lawsuit in New Jersey's 2nd appellate court, claiming that Angel Soft toilet paper is guilty of defamation of character against his beloved angels. "God w...

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Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Funny story: Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Pope Francis closed off his visit to Mexico with the ultimate nod of approval to the blending of Catholic teachings with indigenous Mexican spiritual traditions. Donning a Santa Muerta costume, he climbed to the top of a Mayan pyramid to preside...

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Pope: Ted Cruz Authorized To Perform Exorcisms

Funny story: Pope: Ted Cruz Authorized To Perform Exorcisms

Senator Ted Cruz has mockingly been called The Executor, The Inquisitor, as well as The Prosecutor, but Pope Francis revealed that one of Cruz's true titles may be Exorcist - or maybe The Exorcisor in keeping with the spirit of his past nicknames.

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The Pope In Mexico

Funny story: The Pope In Mexico

It was a hot day as Pope Francis addressed over ten thousand people today at the National Auditorium, Mexico City. His Holiness, visibly tired from his hectic days of meetings with local dignitaries, diplomats and politicians seemed very thirsty as he availed himself freely from a large decanter of 'water'placed on a small table by his throne. Pope Francis's Address in Mexico City Raisin...

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Republicans Greet Pope Francis

[The New York Times, Sept. 23, 2015] WASHINGTON - Welcomed with a fanfare of trumpets and a chorus of amens, Pope Francis introduced himself to the United States on Wednesday with a bracing message on climate change, immigration and poverty that ranged from the pastoral to the political. "I and my family are practicing Catholics, and I have the greatest respect for Francis, but the Pope isn't...

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Pope Francis declines lunch invitation by dirty bums to dine with homeless instead

Funny story: Pope Francis declines lunch invitation by dirty bums to dine with homeless instead

On the day of his much publicized arrival in the United States Pope Francis politely declined an invitation to have lunch with some of the top leaders in Washington to serve lunch to the homeless at St. Patrick's Church in Washington D.C. House...

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Pope Canonises Controversial Fryer

Funny story: Pope Canonises Controversial Fryer

On his first trip to America, Pope Francis has made a saint out of a 39-year-old fish fryer who some say is more of a sinner. More than 30,000,000 people converged on a Washington Basilica Wednesday to witness the canonization of Danny Morgan, a f...

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Pope Criticized For Speaking on Economics

Funny story: Pope Criticized For Speaking on Economics

Quito, Ecuador - Visiting a poor village in Ecuador made a powerful impression on the Pope, who returned to Quito and commented to reporters that "policy must change" and "economics must be about the people and bettering their lives". Critics lau...

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Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Funny story: Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California - "Sure is a miracle he never got busted," a US Justice Department source tweeted as the news of the American wartime ambassador to the Caught of St James's canonisation spread. Joseph P Kennedy, paterfamilias of...

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